Posted by
AMEERA
21 yrs ago
HELLO TO ALL I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT ISLAMIC COUNTRY WILL MARRY A MAN WHO WISHES TO MARRY A 2 WIFE. BUT THAT HIS WIFE DONT FIND OUT. I BEEN UN MARRY FOR 16 YEARS WITH THIS MAN AND WE WISH TO MARRY BUT WE DONT KNOW WHAT COUNTRY WOULD DO IT.. IM A AMERICAN SPANISH NEW MUSLIM. TAKE CARE SALAAM TO ALL BYE
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Ameera
Any muslim country will do... A man under islam is allowed to marry four wives. But under the condition that his first wife knows about this marriage. To answer your question, simply you just don't need to mention that the man is married already. I have seen alot of cases like that... they never mention it. I hope i answered your question.
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The Expat, not all muslim countries can do that!!
Ameera, please check your message.
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If you are from the USA, you won't be allowed to take wives 2,3,or 4 back into the country - which is common to many other countries.
Many countries are now demanding a certificate, from the country whose passport you carry, that confirms that your status is unattached.
What is your definition of 'unmarry' (sic) - long-term separated or divorced?
And if you do get married - make sure the paperwork is correct - some bad guys persuade girls that a marriage *licence* is actually a marriage *certificate*, which does not mean you are married.
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meeow
21 yrs ago
A Muslim man usually needs the permission(!) of his first wife to marry a second time...however, I don't think this is followed so much. Make sure the coutry you travel to together has no issues with it, since a lot of places donot allow a man to be married to more than one woman at the same time.Perhaps ask a cleric for details. Best of luck
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Indonesia and Malaysia you can marry more then 1.
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I hope that soon this kind of thing will become illegal
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Or how about a man not having any extra wives/mistresses and being faithful, which I'm sure he demands from all his women. I broke up with my Malaysian ex-boyfriend because he had this kind of traditional mentality, and when I read this thread it really hit a nerve.
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I would prefer a man who doesn't set double standards. Not every woman is suitable for monogamous relationships either but who caters for that? If that is someone's preferred lifestyle, then marriage is clearly not for them.
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Polygamy is fine in theory. It's a realistic way of addressing the fact that not all people suit monogamy.
However in practice you see one man with several wives, and each of them is expected to be obedient and 100% faithful to him, which is very hypocritical indeed. The women who have to put up with that kind of thing deserve better.
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That's what I said: Good in theory, not so good in practice. Anyway, why do women all need a man to take care of them?? Surely that's what being an adult is all about.
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All women secretly desire the security of their man??! And of course any woman who "harps on about their so called sense of independent spirit" must be a big fat dyke too, I'm sure! An independent spirit must go hand in hand with having a penis then.
I think partnerships are meant to be exactly that: A two way thing in which the man or the woman both might assume the dominant or bread-winning role, depending on the individuals and their situation. Ideally this fluctuates, making for a very balanced relationship.
Fortunately or unfortunately, we don't live in the wild anymore, and survival has nothing to do with hunting or gathering, which is why sexist traditional values are obsolete, but still hanging on in there (especially in Asia).
By the way, I do of course enjoy being treated nicely by men, but I can also enjoy the same treatment from my female friends. It's natural to mutually care for and support those close to you in any way you can.
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gwern
20 yrs ago
Let's hope that when Ameera's husband is looking for a third wife he is more honest. Frankly anyone who marries again without telling wife number one doesn't sound particularly trustworthy....Of course when Ameera decides she would like more and looks round for husband number two i'm sure her husband will be completely understanding under the circumstances....
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Jane
20 yrs ago
A man does NOT need an agreement from his first wife to do that. It is better he tells her, but he is not obliged to do so. In almost all Arabic countries you can marry up to 4 wives. In Egypt you have to get a written agreement of the 1st one. In Tunis the new legislation prohibits you to legally marry more than one. However, in any country you can go to a masjid and take a wife, it will stay a religious marriage only. In Saudi Arabia, countries of the GUlf, Libya, etc, you can legally (both religious and secular) marry up to 4 wives.
You are a new Muslima, I suggest you consult sheikh or talk to a woman, who knows more about Islam. You should not necessarily believe everything your hubby tells you. Especially in case of 4 wives issue.
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