Posted by
Mita5chome
20 yrs ago
We just moved to our apartment building. Back home, if that's the case, we will knock on our neighbours' door, introduce ourselves and share some cookies/cakes. Should we do that as well in HK?
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tggb
20 yrs ago
it would be a nice gesture, however a rarity in Hong Kong
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We're assuming the neighbours are expats (which is safe enough if you're in The Repulse Bay, not so safe if you're in Kwai Chung)... If the neighbours are locals who don't speak English, they may be embarrassed/confused and perhaps think it's a birthday and that they should reciprocate with gifts or something. And the British (or, specifically, the southern English) tend to be less keen on contact with neighbours than Ozzies/Americans etc.... we like to pull up the drawbridge to our castles each evening.
I lived in an expatty building years ago and it used to drive me crazy when neighbours would do what I'm sure they considered "showing a polite interest in our lives", but what we felt was an invasion of privacy. And then the dreaded words, "Would you like to come round and have a drink tomorrow evening?"... those words that compel you either to switch off the lights and pretend you're not at home the next evening, or to go round and endure two hours of platitudinous tedium.
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I agree - it is nice to at least know who your neighbours are - maybe just start by knocking on the door and introducing yourself without the cookies and invitation for drinks...
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I am trying to figure out all of these different nationalities and personalities in our complex as well. I am American and very fortunate that my immediate neighbors (only 2 units per floor but 16 towers) have been kind enough to welcome us and let us know they are there for us if we need anything and the same goes for us to them. We have not had any problems with feeling like anyone is being nosey or pushy. They are locals but have also lived in Australia for several years so I guess we are lucky. But we also lived in the middle of Tokyo for 4 years where NONE of our neighbors spoke ANY English ~ not even "hello" but yet we always spoke as well as they did even if it was a nod and smile. Every year at Christmas I would bake several different things and take a tray of goodies with a Christmas card to each neighbor. Although we could not verbally communicate (at least not a fluent Japanese conversation) we understood each other in a friendly way and knew we could count on each other. After we were there for a short time and they got to know us they would make an effort to have a friend or someone that knew some English to help us communicate and/or invite us to festivities with them. What has happened to people in general these days ~ has everyone become too good or busy to even say hi or respond when someone takes the time to be friendly and say hi to them? It doesn't always mean you want anything more but just a friendly smile and hello!
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Thank you so much for the feed back. I have stayed in Jakarta, Singapore, Syracuse (NY) and Tokyo...my self-introduction and cookies never failed in those places. Hongkongdebbie, I had the same experience in my 5 years in Tokyo. For HK, I think I will still introduce myself but drop the cookies idea until I have a better relationship with the neighbours.
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Hi Mita,
It never hurts to know an extra person. When I was in Shanghai, I personally had a tendency to lose keys and if it weren't for my former neighbor who always helped me, I'd be on the cold streets.
If your neighbor feels you're invading his space, well, you'd sense it and you just won't bother him/her again. What's the big deal?
Just a simple intro would be nice.
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I am really going to digress here but Lauren Order are you stiring the pot so to speak...I think if I remember on other posts you had some rather rash comments as well. Are you having a bad week????
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I have been saying "hi" to everyone I met in the elevator and gym. Some replied back....some ignored me....I don't mind. By now, I know almost all the staff in the apt complex. It's a good progress, right?
Lauren, I am in a Mandarin class now and am planning to master conversational level one year from now. For Cantonese, though, I bought a book with CDs to learn on my own. I agree with you that it is very rewarding to study the local language. My japanese level is at a higher part of intermediate as I can also read Japanese, though slowly.
Having said that, I can understand why those who have a full time job barely have time to learn a new language. My husband is still at the Japanese katakana level until now (very basic). I basically handled all the daily routine that required Japanese.
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Learning Mandarin might not be a bad move, because relocating to the Mainland is always an imminent possibility due to most companies' interests on the Mainland.
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