Control Crying - survey

Hi Mummybee-


which method of control crying are you using? Ferber? Ferber says that you go in and out of the room at different intervals - gradually increasing over time.


Most child experts state that before 1 year, babies really don'' have any memories and so control crying isn't really that horrible for them. (but do they know for sure? Are babies at 8 months able to report their feelings...)


1. three months old

2. Started with Pantley, but then used Crying it out (this means letting the baby cry themselves to sleep without going in - not the easiest on me...but I was somewhat desperate.)

3. saw results within 1 week

4. No need to sleep train daytime naps, as my baby would go to sleep easily during the day.

5. No need to sleep train late at night, because once the earlier sleep wakeups were trained, the late night ones seemed to follow suit.

Hi Mummybee


I can sympathise, we also used control crying actually right from very young (our friends thought we were insane). When we put him down for bed we told him what we were doing and when he cried, we started at one minute and kept going up until as long as it took (one night was 20+) thats alot of time crying. He was just 4-5 weeks old and this was suggested by our mid wife, as a large baby he went quickly into a routine and 5-6 hour sleeps. This took 3-4 nights.


All was well until around yes, 8 or 9 months when suddenly our sons routine went out the window - growth spurt / teething? We were not sure why.

None the less we agreed (both parents must agree in order to support each other and stop from going in and picking your darling up to make the crying go away). So we agreed and when he woke in the night I went in and told our son (with no light switched on or eye contact or cuddle, just a reassuring pat; "Its ok little man time to sleep, back off to sleep now. See you in the morning, i love you." .

Perhaps difficult for him to hear through his crying. Eeek yes feeling like bad parents.

None the less once visit only, we knew he could sleep through and wasnt hungry he had already proved that to us. So back to our bedroom and an agonising 40mins later he was asleep. So difficult. The next night we repeated the exercise and it only took him about 15 - 20mins. The next night 2-3 mins and it was all over.

I figured that they pain of doing this early was worth it in the long run for everyones sanity.


Sleep training happens (still)at daytime, even if he is not sleeping no problems, but it is time for bed and bed means no visits from mum or dad and no playing.

Sounds so easy - in reality its tough but worth the effort. Keep up your great work if you are feeling bad I suggest tell your little one what you are doing,you'd be surprised how much they understand. Good luck Mummybee.

My baby was a bit different. Started sleeping through the night at 7 months without a sleep training programme - however, did have a few nights in the next few months where he'd wake up and cry. By then, I knew he could sleep through the night, so I followed the "checking every 5 mins" rule. Usually he'd be back to sleep before 5 mins, but a handful of times, I had to go in. When I did, I just patted him for no more than a minute (he would quieten down) and then leave. Once or twice he started crying after just I left but then stopped quickly thereafter. Robin Barker in "Baby Love" explains the technique very well (similar to Ferber's method - the main difference is that she advises against control crying for daytime naps, saying that CC is less likely to be effective in the day than at night and may leave a baby crying for ages at naptime for weeks and even months, which can be distressing to both baby and parents). So I still cuddle baby to sleep at naptime - actually enjoy doing this, perhaps because I know I don't have to do it at night:-)

Day naps can often be more difficult than getting baby to sleep through the night, the main thing is to put your baby down to sleep at about the same times each day. on average a 6 - 8 month baby will need 2x 1-2hr naps per day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon which should finish before 3.30pm at this age so your baby is tired enough for the night sleep. If your baby at 6 - 8 months and beyond does not seem tired still put them in their crib at about the same time each day, room lighter than at night, with a few soft toys (non stimulating!).Say 'its nap time' or similar phrase each time and leave the room, your baby will soon understand and may play for a while before falling asleep. After a while of doing this you will (probably!) find that your baby falls asleep more and more quickly after going in the crib. Sometimes babies dont 'appear' to need day naps but they really do......the knock on effect of an overtired baby reduces the likelihood of good quality night sleep. At this age it is a good idea to start giving your baby the opportunity to fall asleep independently for naps, they are great to cuddle to sleep at this age but they will continue to see it as a sleep cue and at 2 yrs old etc it can be a completely different matter!