Posted by
jessieywl
20 yrs ago
Our daughter is 3 months now and my husband keeps saying he wants another baby as soon as possible. The reason is he wants them to be closer in age so they can play together. Also, he's worried the longer we wait, the more likely it will be for us to not wanting another baby because we won't want to go through all the sleepless nights again.
Just want to hear your thoughts on the subject. thanks!
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Have em fast and furious ....makes for an easier time later on although it can be hard at first.
I had 4 kids in 5.5 years - now they are all teenagers (very expensive ) and all can watch the same movies and are interested in the same stuff - holidays destinations are easy, and retirement for parents is earlier. My last child will be finished secondary school before I am 50 - these are things you need to consider as well as the immediate nows. They are also good friends. Go for it!
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dimac - you had 4 kids in 5.5 YEARS!!! You rock!
I always said I wanted to do that - but just couldn't get myself through it...too tired.
Jessie - I have two kids - one almost 2 and one 3 months. (They are 22 months apart.) As for good friends- I don't know yet, although my older daughter loves her little sister, and her little sister smiles a lot whenever big sis is around. I can say from personal experience, with my brother who is 30 months younger than I am, we had a great time growing up together. We did a lot of the same things - were a bit competitive, and fought like crazy as well. my youngest brother and I didn't have that kind of close relationship. (8 year difference)
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I can't match dimac - that's very very impressive!! My two are 15 months apart - so my first was 6 months old when I got pregnant - and as dimac says it is hard at first, but at 1 and 2 they are already entertaining each other and play together all the time. Go for it!
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thanks so much for sharing your experience!
so i guess what i heard was not true - the closer the pregnancy interval, the greater the risk of birth abnormalities. one website said the ideal interval is 18 months.
have you heard anything like that before?
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Mine are exactly 19 months apart, then a week off 27 months apart (my rest!) then exactly 20 months.
June 1989
January 1991
March 1993
November 1994
So they were not impossibly close together - manageable - some days.
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dimac4-well done!
...my baby girl now is 2 yr & 2 mth old. I got pregnant in feb but lost it after 4 weeks....my doc sugg me to wait for at least 3mths (in fact 3 normal periods) to have another go. So need to wait a bit longer.....:(
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dimac: was/is there any sibling rivalry between them?
If there was, at what age they outgrew this "stage"?
My #1 and #2 are 14 months apart. There are moments they play well together, but most of the times they fight!!!!
Now #3 (2 yo, 19 mths younger than #2) starts to join the fight as well...... arrghhh....
Our house is always noisy, full of screams and cries! Did it happen to you too when they were small?
Thanks!
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Yes- but I just ignored it and they sort it out themselves. Fighting between children is usually an attention seeking behaviour - so if I ignore the ones fighting and pay attention to the ones not fighting the others calm down and come over to see what we are doing. I don't get involved in their squabbles- if they come over complaining I just tell them they have to sort it out, that it is not my business (unless of course there is an injury then I get involved, but the way that is handled depends on what happened...)
Sibling rivalry - you mean "you love her more than me" type of stuff- still happens - again just sigh give everyone cuddles and get on with life.
My oldest (girls) where at each other throats for a while while they shared a room - had to sperate the rooms and now they are pretty good friends again. (now 15 and nearly 17)
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My N#1 and N#2 have 2.5 years of difference... and I find it very close already ! I wouldn't have been able to have N#2 before that. I found it was nice to enjoy N#1 and take some time to see him growing. My husband is the one who wanted N#2 as close as possible but I would have been OK to wait for a few years.
You can do a lot with 1 child whereas with 2 children it's getting more complicated and it requires more organisation.
It's a very personal question I guess. The best thing is to do as you & your husband feel like.
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:-))
20 yrs ago
It's all very well for husbands to want them close together. They don't have their bodies devoted to another being for 9 months and longer if you breastfeed! My second child is due in a month's time when my first child will be 2.5yrs, and I have enjoyed having a "rest" between babies. Also my second pregnancy has been difficult physically, probably because my core muscles didn't recover fully, so I imagine it would have been worse if I had conceived a lot earlier.
I think every variant of child spacing has its pros and cons. My first child will start half-day kindergarten in September so I will not have to juggle both of them all day. She is also old enough to understand what is going on and we have lots of cute conversations about babies! In waiting longer than some I took into account the experience of my elders: my mother had a very demanding 2nd baby and my mother-in-law had a very demanding 3rd baby, and they both think that things would have been a bit easier if the elder siblings had been a bit older and more independent.
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My two boys are nearly 3 years apart. They fight, they hug, they hold hands...well - all the sibling thing.
Michael Chan
www.senseimichael.com
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