world getting smaller

Just a rant. Not an attention seeking one, but if any of you feel likewise, do chip in.


I feel my world getting smaller. Not in a good way. It's like an invisible sphere closing in on me, slowly.


Right now my entire life can be segmented into


1)my limbo-ish relationship.Can't solve it after so long.

2)work which I don't enjoy and feel I can't handle--but has travel (which is the only thing I like, but it tires me out and makes me hate work-vicious cycle).

3)On a slightly smaller scale, my concern for my mother's predicament due to a bitter and ongoing estrangement with my father


Last week I was on the plane, and I decided for once to listen to songs instead of the usual inflight movies.


A few of the songs brought me back to those earlier years in college & high school where I used to day-dream a lot, do many things, hope for the best. No boundaries in my world then.


A few years down the road-


disappointments

bitterness

anger

self pity

lack of faith

lack of respect in self

lack of discipline


so I guess I took a wrong turn. I feel that i can't get out but that one last resolve is preventing everything from caving in.

maybe if you can change just one element in your life, you will get back that feeling of controlling your destiny again. you can't do much about your parents' feud, and it's not easy to change jobs at the drop of a hat, but perhaps you could make a decision about your relationship? either improve it (make it less limbo-ish), or move on.