How do you settle your baby for bedtime??

I guess this is what people call accidental parenting". As a newborn when my baby was not sleeping when I thought he should and didn't know what to do, I resorted to patting and rocking for his 7pm bedtime. My mom came over just now and was surprised that I couldn't just leave him alone in the cot for him to fall asleep by himself. She felt that as he was nicely swaddled, fed and just gurgling to himself happily, she felt no need to resort to patting/rocking as she thinks he'll eventually settle himself. I really hope this is the case but after 12 hours of looking after him, I have reached my limit and really need a break so that I can recharge my batteries in case he wakes up at night and for the next day. As such, I am afraid to leave him to sleep on his own, worried that he'll still be talking to himself at 8/9/10pm!! I know my mom's idea is better in the long run but how do I wean him off the patting/rocking? I don't want to do it when he's 10kg!!!

I bath her , let her lay on her mat and kick for a bit, last feed and wind her , swaddle her up, lay her in her cot awake, wind up her mobile and by the time the tune has finished she is asleep!! Third child the other two were horrors so was determined to make a routine from the beginning and stick to it and so far it has worked!

from 6-7 is our 'special time' every day. This is the special time I spend with baby.


6:00 - 6:30 - naked time on the play mat listening to soft lullaby music (no words). play on tummy and back, if he gets grumpy give him a hug and sway/dance around the room...


6:30 - 6:40 - warm bath, when he was 1-3 months he liked 40 degrees, now he likes 37 degrees. No soap or oils, just water, he loves it and used to fall asleep in the bath for a few minutes which was very funny.


6:40 - 6:50 - grapeseed oil massage, dressed in onesie and swaddle.


6:50 - breast feed (while swaddled) in a dark calm room next to his bed.


When he is done feeding he is still awake usually, and I will burp him and then put him down while still awake, tuck him in and stroke his forehead and say "good night, I love you, see you at 11pm" And walk out of the room, often as he is yawming, but still awake.


There have been 5-6 times he cires or moans at about 8pm for 5 minutes. And maybe 2-3 times that he really cried and I had to go get him - twice for an extra feed, once for a burp and back to bed.


Of course the times vary slightly depending on how his daytime naps went and how he is feeling - sometimes the bath is at 6:30 and the feed at 6:40. sometimes we even skip the bath and do a shower instead (especially if we are going out after his bedtime and showering anyway, my husband or I will just shower with him instead).


I was very worried the other day because we were out and he had to have an expressed bottle at 7:00 instead of breast... but he took to it fine and went to bed! So the above routine might actually be more important for me than him!


When he was younger he sometimes would fall asleep at the breast at this feed. I didn't worry about it too much because for every daytime nap we put him to bed when he was awake.


It was painful at first, because he would cry at every nap time -but now it is amazing, we wrap him up for naptime and he smiles, and goes down without a fuss - so I think the persistence has paid off beautifully!


Also, he is now such a happy baby at 6:30 am when I go into his room - he never cries before that. But again, it took a lot of patience to get to that stage.


I think your mum is right, and if you try it for 5 days you'll find it works.

Crj,


I wished I had your routine!!! But as baby still takes erratic naps, he gets super cranky by 5pm....so after 5pm i usually bath him, try to calm him down and feed him at 6pm...usually he is very tired at this time so this feed takes awhile as he usually dozes off. and by the time he finishes and has a burp, he'll usually be more awake. i will then swaddle him and cuddle/pat/rock him until he goes to sleep, about 15 minutes or so. but i think maybe i should bite the bullet and swaddle/say goodnight and put him in the cot for him to fall asleep. because i think i rock him more for myself, as i really want him to sleep asap. but i think in the long run, better to train him to sleep on his own. i also wish he could wake up smiling in the morning. sometimes he does, but mostly crying - like this morning, he cried so hard even though i rushed to make his milk. and because he cried, he brought up quite abit of milk...urghhh...i hope everything gets easier soon!

for the morning naps, i observe he usually gets sleep about 8.30am to 9am...so i swaddle him, cuddle him and then he usually falls asleep, but mostly for 30-40mins only!!

i made the same mistake as you, i rocked my baby to sleep ever since he was born and boy, do i regret it. he was so used to it that even at 8 month old, he will wake up 3-4 times a night crying for me because he didn't know how to go back to sleep on his own, he needed to be rock. i was so exhausted!! finally i had to go through control crying with him at 8 month old, it was the hardest thing i have ever done. nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing your baby crying for you. after two weeks, he could finally sleep better, not waking up at all during the night and he become a happier child. if you make a habit out of rocking him, you might face the same problem as me and it's more cruel to put him through control crying then to just teach him to fall asleep on his own in his cot at a young age.that's my advice.

Wheelymate - actually, your bedtime routine sounds very good! Just try one thing... try doing exaclty what you suggested and after you swaddle and cuddle him, put him to bed.


It took a long time before he woke up smiling - about 4 months! Basically, if I fed him at 3:30/4am I knew he wasn't hungry when he cried at 6... so we waited.. eventually the crying got less and less and now we have happy mornings! But it did take time. I know many parents would disagree, but it worked for us.


For the daytime naps, look for signs he is tired, then swaddle him and put him to bed... we find that the consisteny really helped - same time every day, but with flexibility - so for example the morning nap starts anytime from 8:30 - 9am, depending on what signs of tiredness he shows. And if he doesn't have his 4pm - 5pm nap then he gets grumpy for hour special hour.


I also had a soft toy/rag, I wore it in my cleavage for a day, slept with it at night... then I put it near his head (but safely between the matress and basinett wall so it could not move) this way he could 'smell' me at night - no idea if it helped or not!!


Wheelymate, I think you are doing great, you are just about 1 month younger than we are so it should all snap into place soon!

Today: His milk was downed v quickly so by 6.20pm, i swaddled him, turned on his cot mobile, kissed/said goodnight and left the room. didn't harbour any hopes of him sleeping but lo and behold, HE IS!!! hope this is not a cat nap and that he'll sleep through until i wake him up for the dream feed. i know this takes time, so fingers crossed! think it helped that he was in an extremely good mood today.


Naps: Yes, i am beginning to notice he has a pattern, however short-lived his naps are. hope that gets better too!

YEAH!! Great news, enjoy your evening!

How's this for irony... he just woke up at 8:00 SCREAMING... sounds like really bad gas, we have spent 20 minutes trying to calm him.... my husband is with him now, but still screaming, my turn next...

*sigh* poor baby!

Like Ruth I nursed my first baby to sleep at night, and I am doing the same with my little number 2. Both babies are/were on the same routine and both babies needed a feed at 5:30ish PM and a last feed just before bed at 7:00PM. I switched milk and solids when number one started to have teeth because i was afraid she would get decay if I could not brush her teeth after the milk feed as she was asleep. It went very well and was super easy. The first night she cried a little and I went to her and fed her as usual. The second night she could fall asleep by herself without any crying at all and since then had no pb sleeping by herself. She never had a mobile in her cot and baby number 2 does not either. Bed is to sleep not play (in my opinion).

I am planning to do the same with number 2, because I want him to go down nicely at 7. At that time of the day I just cannot wait to enjoy my me-time.

Hi all,


This has been a good weekend so far. Still working on the catnaps but the nights are so much better. I have done minimal patting this weekend and when I go into his room after 6.30am, he is already awake but looks happy to see me. Not seeing him cry first thing in the morning really makes a difference to our day. I don't know what is makinng it all work so far but keep my fingers crossed that it will keep up!