Co-sleeping at 6 1/2 months

Hello, have you tried to put your baby on a routine (there are many threads you might want to check about this on the forum). She might be sleeping too much during the days? Or not feeding enough at day time?

How does she go down for her naps? Does she sleep in her room then and do you need to nurse her to sleep?


If your baby is on solids, could she be suffering from food allergies (yiest or dairy).

If she sleeps in your room it might not be silent enough (snoring, etc...), if she is a light sleeper?

Is she teething?

Feeding her every 2 hours might give her colic and create a vicious circle?

Only rarely does a beastfed baby sleep through the night until he/she starts solids. Most babies have a last late night feed ("dream feed" at 11PM to ensure she/he will sleep thorough to the next morning. Your baby is only 6.5 months old and probably started solids last week or so.

I believe in routines, other do not. Better get as much info as you can and decide what you want to do. I swear by Gina Ford (not to the T though) and Tracy Hoggs.


Regarding your helper putting your baby to bed, is she used to her? Your baby might be worried if she does not understand what is going on. You may want to let her cry a few minutes before jumping in straight away and see if she could settle by herself.

I highly recommend a book - Richard Ferber's Understanding Your Child's Sleep. It worked for my toddler's sleep problems, and I also recommended to another asiaxpater who was having similar problems as yours. (child almost same age.) He is the "controlled crying" "monster" that people talk about - but if you read the ENTIRE book, you will see that he isn't a monster, that the methods are actually very gentle, and they WORK. you may not even have to resort to it if there are other sleep issues.

HKchoichoi-hows your no2.mine still wakes up at night.and how often do you feed now?

Your daughter sounds very much like mine was at that age...just reading your note brought back that feeling of constant and total exhaustion, I felt consumed by it. Thank God she was our first, I'm not sure how I would have/could have managed otherwise.


I read everything I could on sleep, I have a shelf on sleep that would rival most libraries. The end of the day, the only book that really helped me to understand what was going on was Ferber. He explains sleep, sleep cycles, all sorts of things that can interfer with good sleep...he really IS the authorative expert. It took me forever to read him though as I was dead set against letting my daughter cry and wail until, abandoned and exhausted, she'd fell asleep--and I thought that was Ferber. Well, it's not.


I read his book cover to cover--until I felt like I truly understood what was going on and then I adapted a method that he outlined. It turned sleep around in our household in a matter of days.


For us, we had a very very strong "nipple association" with sleep. Mine would only sleep if she was suckling away (yes, naps too) OK, I was crazy to let that happen, but one slides into these things one day at a time, and she just absolutely WOULD NOT sleep unless she was at my breast. She was the most sleepless newborn on the planet. So we co-slept, it was a matter of survival. By six months, she would suck to sleep and wake every 1-2 hours for another suckle to sleep. Those every 1-2 hour wake-ups were sleep cycle wake-ups. To help her go back to sleep on her own, she needed to learn to FALL ASLEEP on her own, and then find herself in the same environment when she came back into light sleep, so she could then fall BACK to sleep without assistance. So for us, we had to (slowly, gently) change that nipple association, and gently move her back to her bed...once those two things were addressed, then we could work on the wake-ups. Then it was quick though, the wake-ups pretty much took care of themselves.


One thing I wish I had thought of earlier, I started putting socks on her feet at night. Her room was plenty warm enough, but she'd come out from under her covers and her feet would get cold. (A sleep sack would have done the trick too in retrospect, but, had I thought of it, I probably would have thought it unnecessary with a summer born baby in HK.)


Anyway, buy the book and don't rely on someone else's summary! It'll be worth every penny :-) And good luck, you have my complete sympathy.

Hi Ellie


Mine doesn't wake up at night anymore - she feeds 8AM, 11AM, 3PM, 6:30PM, 10:30PM - and then sleep until 7:30. (i'm very lucky that way.) She started doing it around 10.5 weeks.

Hello. All will be fine, so please do not worry. Ferber's book IS wonderful. I do have some tidbits of advice though. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Knock on wood, both have slept thruogh the night since they were both about 3 months. I worked very hard to make this happen though.


The more one feeds the baby (esp from the breast) in the middle of the night, the more the baby will wake up for it. The sometimes co-sleeping and sometimes not co-sleeping confuses the baby as well. It's like the mouse running through the maze successfully each time, yet the cheese is only at the end some of the time. Reward confusion. Your baby expects to be with you whenever she wakes up. And, when you do take her to bed with you, she will just wake up more and more and earlier to get that treat.


I would also recommend you introduce a transitional object to her. A security blanket, small stuffed animal... Something that she associates with sleep and only sleep. It will allow her to soothe herself to sleep as well.


Further, like Ferber says, never let your baby fall asleep while dependent on you -- suckling, holding, anything. Always be able to leave your child to fall asleep on her own. If she falls asleep in your arms suckling and then wakes up in a different position without you, she feels totally confused. It's like falling asleep in the living room and waking up in your own bed. Or like falling asleep next to your husband and waking to find him missing. very confusing.


I feel it is very important to teach one's children how to soothe oneself to sleep. I know so many adults who still have not mastered this skill. I feel I had to teach myself after reading Ferber!


Much of this is in Ferber. It will all work out. I think you just have to stay strong and commit yourself to a strict plan. Babies love routine. I think you have already diagnosed your issues, so you are well on your way.


Good luck!

Hi there,


I initially did co-sleeping when my boy was a few weeks old but because it made my husband too tense (he was afraid of crushing the baby) and my baby was getting too comfy to sleep on his own, I stopped it. The best advice my friend has given me is to put your baby in his own room and you have a baby monitor with you on a low volume. If you hear him cry, give it some time to see if he can settle on his own. Having my baby sleep in a different room has made a difference to my life - i get much better sleep from 11pm to 6.30-7am. On the same bed, I am aware of his every movement so when he does wriggle, he doesn't get a chance to settle himself back to sleep as I resort to the bottle/dummy, etc thinking that babies should be completely still when sleeping!


I have not read Ferber but if you think controlled crying (which I know v little about) is too harsh, try reading Tracy Hogg's Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. She doesn't have strict routines by the clock, etc but she does encourage structure in your baby's life, help you to understand/respect your baby and listen to his cues as to what they want. I bought the book last week, really identified with it and it has really helped. You may want to try reading it!

Hi Waffle--


You should be over the hump. The first night or two can be difficult, but you should see rapid improvement after that...just stay loving and very very consistent.


It's amazing how much better you BOTH will feel/do after good sleep :-)

Hi Waffle -


definitely sounds like you're on your way. Even the 1/2 wakings will soon disappear. The boobs will leak for awhile but you're getting sleep!!

I hope the crawling will help too. Some parents decide to use a controlled crying technique from this age on but this might be difficult when you are traveling. It might be a good idea to go the a well baby clinic like the Matilda Well Baby Clinic to discuss this.


Well Baby Clinic - 2849 1500

Matilda International Hospital

Hong Kong

http://www.matilda.org