sitting while having meals

Do you have any tips on how to make a 2 years old sit at the table while eating ???

Is it normal that he doesn't want to sit ???

He just stands up and puts some pieces of food in his mouth while playing (without the TV on).

I'm scared he's getting bad habits.

I understand he can't sit for 15 mn but at least 5 minutes would be fair isn't it ???


It's almost impossible for my toddler to stay on the chair more than 15 seconds... I find it very stressing. I keep on repeating "sit down" without any success....

Tonight, I have told him he would not watch any TV afterwards if he doesn't sit while having his dinner. No change...


What could I do ?


Thanks in advance

Of course it's totally normal for a 2 year old to be more interested in ANYTHING else, other than eating. Everyone I know has a toddler that goes through the same thing around the same age..... no worries, but it is definitely frustrating.


What I did with my daughter was I strapped her to the First Safety Booster, and so she knows it's meal time. Her first response was "NO !" And then she will try to squirm her way out of the booster, or she will keep screaming "NO! I want to go down"... etc.


I finally figured, when she doesn't want to eat, it's b/c she wants to play, or watch TV ..... but it doesn't work to keep saying "sit down"..cuz they don't. At this age, repeating your words doesn't really work. So I found the most effective was, I pushed her chair (while she's still strapped in the booster) away from the table, and asked her to sit there for 3 minutes with nothing to do. I said" You don't have to eat, but you cannot play either until time is over". It was painful in the beginning, she screams, she screeches, everything you can think of..... to get out of that chair. We just ignored her, when the timer rings, it's 3 minutes, I let her off the chair. Eventually I increase it to 5 minutes, and so on... NOW, up to 15 minutes. Now, when she doesn't want to eat, I will turn away her chair, she doesn't cry or scream, she sits there for a few minutes, (she knows the routine)... then after a few minutes, she will call "MOM !!! I want to eat my dinner....please....". I feed her when she says that, or she will feed herself, and when she eats a few bites, she starts her routine again... I will turn her away again, and tell her your dinner is not finished. She will then scream and screech... and I will ask her to eat 3 more bites, she will agree, and then I let her off the chair.


Basically, you need to let your son know HOW is the fastest way he can get out of the chair, either you fight it out with mom, or you eat.... they eventually learn, it's much better to eat ... at least a few bites.


Don't be too greedy though... my pediatrician says it's totally normal from 2-3 or even 4... for children to just graze... not really have big meals all the time throughout the day.


Hope this helps. It's working for me thus far. My daughter (on a good day) can sit through a dinner for about 1 hour.

Do not allow children to eat unless they are at the table. Also that dinner is for a set time only - after this time there is no dinner or food. Be consistent. They will not die from malnutrition, they will have tantrums, and they will learn the lesson and the expectations. Green has a good suggestion.

Have no other distractions going (TV off) and toys away before dinner.

Hi, I just wanted to say these suggestions are very helpful. I have a similar problem with my son who just turned 4. He had a ayi for a while that followed him around and stuck food in his mouth so now its really hard to get him to feed himself, let along sit through a meal at the table. Ive been struggling with it, but like you said, just telling him to sit down again and again doesnt really work. I'm going to try the sit on the bed routine since I dont think he'll fit in a booster seat. Thanks a lot.

Oh dear, that makes me a pretty bad mum. I've had to resort to tv or toys to keep her occupied. She's 21 months old and will not sit still. Sometimes if she likes the food, she'll feed herself but that will only last for 5 minutes if not less.

I can't put her on her bed because it's in another room and I get too worried. I may try her "naughty corner" by the door.

MayC, I don't think you're a bad mum at all. My opinion is that a 2 year old isn't really capable of sitting at the table for 20-30 mins eating his food with the family and therefore should not be made to do so.


I'll start teaching my kids to come to the table when I feel they are capable of that, I'm guessing around 4 years of age.


Until then, they have a DVD on while they eat. With this concession, they are expected to sit still. They watch no TV / DVDs at any other time, except meals.


Some people may tell you you're making a rod for your own back, but again I don't see it like that. People also said that to me when I let me kids sleep in my bed until they were 6 months old. Neither made a fuss about being moved into the cot in the children's bedroom.


As regards social skills, my elder boy, nearly 3 now, is welcome to come to the table when his father and I are eating our dinner (about 2 hrs after the children's meal). He can sit and chat and we pop bits and bobs of his choosing into his mouth. If he doesn't want to come, he can go on playing with his toys while we eat. If he comes to the table, he's free to leave it any time, and return any time.


Also, neither of my kids feed themselves yet. (Much less mess!) The older one does it occasionally but mostly we spoon it into him. When he wants to feed himself a whole meal with a knife and fork, that's when we'll get him to sit at the table.

I have to disagree with you Snow Rose - 2 year olds are more than capable of sitting at the table with the family for 20 -30 minutes without a DVD turned on. If it is expected and something they have always done from when they could sit up to eat in a high chair - they will learn how to do it.


As for not allowing children to feed themselves because they make too much mess - this is how they learn to use a knife and fork - copying what mum and dad and siblings do. if they don't practise the basic table manners and behaviour from a very young age it becomes very difficult to change habits.


For us - dinner has always been a family time - parents had dinner same time as the children - we didn't have the luxury of a helper to prepare different meals at different times, and it has now become a really important time for all of us to touch base as they are all teenagers. Dinner can now last from 1 - 3 hours as we sit and chat. The children didn't need to be 'entertained' at dinner time - they have learnt to become conversationalists through being at the table with everyone from when they were very young.


Learning basic behaviours also makes it easier to eat at restaurants with your children.


At what point will you decide it is time to allow them to eat by themselves? Sit at a table with mum and dad for dinner? Not have a DVD on when eating? These points are hard to define and it is usually easier to go with the status quo than to change and put up with the tantrums that ensue.

My 2.5 yr old daughter is also not much interested in food except for breakfast. Luckily for us, her lunch and dinner are before naptime or bathtime/bedtime. So we just say, "Do you want to go for your nap now or do you want to eat something first?" Usually she will eat something to delay going to bed. But she is strapped into her booster seat - she wouldn't sit for long if she wasn't.