Posted by
OK
20 yrs ago
My 4 year old son loves animals. He loves taking his pet Tutles out to play and talk to them. However one of them dead.
Any advise as to how to explain to him about death. I dont want to say that it has gone to sleep, just in case he be frightened to go to bed.
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@@
20 yrs ago
If the animal was old then it is best to explain as you would for an elderly person. Simply that the body stopped working and that it wouldn't have been painful. Of course it also depends on what your religious beliefs as well.
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Just be straight with him - part of life is death and sometimes things and people die before you expect them to. Death means that you won't be able to play with the turtle anymore, and his body will have to be buried because it will start to smell bad.
Having pets is good for this reason - introduces children to many life experiences before they happen to people they know.
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Ed - why did you zap my reply?
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As a Veterinarian I have seen alot of children that have to deal with the death of a pet (including my own). The first thing to remember is that children are very resilient and usually take it really well (often better then the parent!) The best tactic is honesty - explain that the turtle was old or sick and his body wasn't working properly anymore. He is not suffering/sore/sick anymore. You were right in not using the "gone to sleep" analogy because some children do then develop a fear of going to bed and not waking up. It is better to say dead/died as this cannot be misunderstood. It is also important to tell them that it is OK to be sad/cry/miss the pet (especially if it is a boy). All of this is good preparation for the real world where pets/friends/family eventually die. Let the child grieve (perhaps make a shoebox coffin and have a small ceremony to say goodbye if your child wants to). Some children will just say OK, can we get a new one?, or just go back to playing and not be too distressed.
Just be honest and answer their questions as best you can (these can be tricky!!) and following your families belief system.
Good luck and don't worry kids are tough.
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Sue
20 yrs ago
Hi I can still remember the trauma when my first hamster died - I was probably about six - and my mum and grandma put him in a shoebox with some tissues and some of his favourite snacks and we buried him and then they took me to Pizza Hut to cheer me up! I was beside myself, but they made it an important event and I felt a lot better
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Sue
20 yrs ago
They just told me he had gone to heaven
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OK
20 yrs ago
Thanks all.
I took you advise and told my son what happened. He took it quite well. Plus he is much gentler to the remaining turtle.
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@@
20 yrs ago
Good to hear he took it well. My son went through a stage at about 4 where he was really interested in death and asked lots of questions. I think it's a normal phase, don't be surprised if this doesn't set off a whole lot of questions about death, even about loved ones.
We handled it by explaining that yes everthing dies but usually when they are old, and that we expected to be around for a very long time - like Grandma and Grandpa etc.
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