Need ADVICE!!!

Strict in what way? - they are still your family and your parents..you are basically lying to them by not telling them what has happened in your life. What is the worse that could happen if you did tell them?

And really how long do you think you can continue to maintain this lifestyle and secret - if I was your family I would be pretty upset that you haven't told me about some really important information - so I imagine that the sooner is the better option. You really have no idea of how they will react. You live away from home now and have an independent life- (or sort of - money lending not withstanding) - maybe you need to grow up too.

You have nothing to lose - tell them now.

It will just be 'more of a secret' every day, so best to bite the bullet and just come clean.


You might want to prepare first.

Don't be defensive.

Think about what you are going to say, and how.

Arrange a time to speak with them, tell them it is an important call/meeting.

Tell them why you were afraid to tell them.

Tell them you are telling them now because you want them as part of your life and the life of their grandchild.

Make it positive.

Accept that they might be upset or shocked at first, so give them time to absorb all of this new information.

Don't judge on their immediate reaction.

Arrange to follow up with a family visit in the next month or so.


Also, be prepared for worst result - they hate you, never want to speak to you again, disown you, etc... and then you might have years of trying to reach through to them every 6 months or so.


If you are really worried about how you will cope with telling them - try to go to counseling for advice.


Good luck.

you will be surprised, families can sometimes be tolerant than you think. i know we will imagine the worst case scenario but you just have to bite the bullet.

i didn't tell anyone about my then-bf now hubby as i feared what my family would think about me dating someone from a different country/culture. but 3 years after dating, i took him to my bro's wedding. my grandpa said "welcome, have a beer" and we have never looked back!


but of course, you have to be patient with your family, you did go ahead and have a marriage and baby without telling them, they might need time to deal with the news.


good luck