Posted by
dimac4
20 yrs ago
Have you thought of asking her to 'work' off the amount she has lost through chores - may give her an idea of what is involved in how money is made. This has worked for us in the past - the kids now have to work for their money for the mobile phone etc etc...
Please support our advertisers:
Bring her washing to the laundry, take her clothes to her room, clean her own shoes for school, even maybe ask to do 'cooking' one meal on a weekend (Sunday night) with help from an adult - this way she also learns how all the secret stuff can be made into something edible. Make her own lunches - mainly personal stuff can be jobs. Agree with Cara- just becasue you have a helper doesn't mean she can't do anything - you just have to make sure the helper does not clean her room for her. Have an inspection day or time when it has to be clean by.
Please support our advertisers:
vw
20 yrs ago
How is your daughter with all of this? What was her response when you were reduced to tears? Was she upset and did it concern her that you were upset?
Sometimes it is hard for us not to put adult expectations on children. I am not trying to say that we have to give them everything and let them abuse our generosity, but she is nine and she might have just had fun scootering and the card fell out her pocket - we have all lost things in haste.
I have a ten year old and sometimes I am in tears too, because I think she just does not get it some days! I make her do her own room, she enjoys helping with the cooking and I am trying to make her more responsible for her day to day routine (getting her sports kit on pe days, having her uniform out and ready for the next day, tidying her room and making her bed on the weekends)but then I try to remember that she is only ten and it is ok to muck up every now and then, I am pushing 40 and still do occasionally!
Please support our advertisers:
My 8 year old tends to lose uniform at school. I tell him to look for it the next day at school (all his uniform is named) and he says "I can't find it". Turns out he hasn't looked in lost property or where he changed into his PE clothes. I give him a few days to look for it properly and if he still can't find it, he has to pay for it out of his own savings of birthday money etc. I've told him that I will replace anything he outgrows but I'm not there to pay for his carelessness. He's paid for a couple of items and is now a lot more careful with his belongings.
A friend of mine who's a secondary school teacher at an international school in HK says he's constantly amazed at what builds up in his teaching room - uniform, mobile phones, iPods - and no one bothers claiming these items and it appears that parents just replace lost items.
I feel it's important to teach responsibility at an early age.
Please support our advertisers:
vw
20 yrs ago
Hi DBmum - I was curious about her reaction because my ten year old will apologize and does hurt if she thinks I am hurting.
I guess consequences as suggested above are tough but necesary. It is hard sometimes, especially if they have peers who share the same care free attitude.
Good luck
Please support our advertisers:
I would imagine she cannot understand the problem. The things were lost and, in her mind, it wasn't really her fault - children at her age have difficulties admitting mistakes. She's also arrived at that age when friends are more important than her mum (sorry) and when she is so wrapped up in her own activities/friends that she can be thoughtless and aggravating.
To lessen future losses you can also try get her involved in how to avoid this. At her age she is able to think about a problem and plan how to solve it. See if she can come up with ideas about how she can keep track of her phone, perhaps to set the alarm just as she is leaving school. She can also ask her friends (who are more important to her now) to remind her. But now I'm helping her out...
If she has devised her own plan to avoid losses, she cannot deny responsibility for those losses. All part of growing up.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
20 yrs ago
To Turtle1,
I reckon part of the problem with missing uniform here, especially amongst primary kids is that it often gets picked up by someone else and put in their bags, then the helper takes it out, washes it but would never think to check the name inside. My helper has done it, but luckily I check the names sometimes.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail