Move on?

Ok, I need the collective expertise of some gals. Met a guy online, chatted for a month, met, hit it off, we went a bit too quickly so moved back, slowed it down (to meet his needs mind you), then ahve spent lots of time over the last 2 months doing stuff together, as friends, lots of confusion on my part, but that's ok, then we crossed the line into a sexual relationship and he pulled back (bad experience last year), and basically said he's not ready, can't give that same level of intimacy as me, etc. He seems to expect us to be friends. He didnt do anything wrong or bad to me, a complete gentleman and let's face it, he gets point for the honesty, but i want more, I know I want more and although I am 90% ready to call and let him konw that if his situation changes then call me but otherwise.....

So, thoughts? Think that when 2 people want different things, it is too hard. Great guy, would have loved to explore something, but think that going now down the route of platonic friendship when I know I want more is very unhealthy! Anyone?

Astute observation. My point being that, he is not ready, does not have a relationship to give, but wants my friendship. I personally think it is unhealthy when I know I want more. A lot of women would hang on, be friends and hope, etc. I don't want to be that woman, no matter how much I like him. Wanted some shared perspective.

I guess, he really likes your company. But wants the freedom of meeting other girls without hurting you. Best to pull back and get out of his life, he might miss you and realise it's love...

You know it will be unhealthy for you to stay on and keep the (platonic) relationship, so best to bow out now. It's just sad that you will be giving up the friendship just because you want more than he can offer at the moment..


But hey, by letting him go, you up your chances of meeting someone else who can (and will) reciprocate your feelings, be intimate and commit eventually.

hi delawrence - sorry he doesn't want to be more than friends at this time.


but your instinct is absolutely spot-on, so go that extra 10%, pick up the phone and call him, and say exactly what you wrote ("if your situation changes, call me, but for now I'm going to move on - good luck and bye for now!").


annebin is right: make room in your life for someone else who can reciprocate and commit. :-) good luck!