Posted by
taurus2006
20 yrs ago
my mil has been nagging at me to toilet train my boy since he's 3mths old (he's now 5mths). i thought she was crazy. he doesn't even know how to sit properly, much less control his bladder. it's probably just luck and guessing when he poos isn't it? i know it's a chinese thing to train so early but am wondering whether it makes a difference to train from such an early age? does anyone have any early success from it? pls share your stories
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erm...didn't know you could toilet train a bub at 3 months??!!!
mine is 5 months and i am definitely not planning to buy a potty anytime soon. that said, because he was on formula very early on, he was initially pretty constipated. so to "encourage" him to poo, we would make pooing and straining sounds (with him lying down or being carried) during nappy changes. sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. he is way past the constipation stage but i guess out of habit, i try to see if he wants to poo during nappy changes and when he makes big ripping farts during his feeds. through this way, he poos everyday. i checked with his PD on this and she didn't seem to think it was anything wrong.
i am chinese so i understand this chinese vs western way thingy. at first my hubby was totally even against me trying to "encourage" him to poo but once he saw how better my bub felt after his poo, he sort of gave in BUT we don't force the issue....if it happens, great but no sweat too if it doesn't.
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Maybe these links can help you understand in a western way a asian practice ;-D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/
Have fun!
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Koreans are REALLY into this. They start plopping kids on pottys early. It's hard finding diapers for kids who are older than 2.5 years old. They just don't make them. (or sell them.) I was shocked when I went to the US and saw diapers that went up to 50 lbs.
the simple way to look at it - your child may be potty trained earlier (let's say by 18-20 months) but it will take longer OVERALL (maybe 6-10 months) to actually train them to do it. The Western way, which has kids wait until usually at least 2 if not almost 3 years old - most kids get trained within two weeks - many within a week, and Gina Ford promises a weekend. (but she has a lot of conditions - but if you follow them, truly 2 days you can potty train.) So it really is your preference. I waited - my daughter got trained at around 26 months - it was pretty painfree, and she got the hang of it really easily. (she actually potty trained herself after figuring out what the potty was for.) VERY convenient.
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the article on elimination communication is very interesting, it sounds like what i do about my bub's pooing (not peeing, that one i leave it to nature, huh)...
timing: poos once a day, usually during 1st or 2nd feed of the day
signals: farting during feeds, refusing to feed. actually he's got peeing signals too, he makes a funny face when pees.
cueing: i make lots of oooh oooh sounds to encourage him
intuition: not really in this case, more like trial and error and watching for his signals!
but i don't think this actually potty trains a bub, sounds more like controlling when your bub pees or poos so you waste less nappies - your bub still doesn't actually learn that when he has the urge to pee, he needs to gravitate towards a potty!
just my thoughts anyway....
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crj
20 yrs ago
Wheelymate and I discussed this in an older thread: http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/momsdads/threads/85732.asp
I have to say, now that we have started solids and he poos more it is harder than before when he poo-d the same time every day.
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ok, I'm American so maybe that explains why we waited until she was 28 mo, BUT, at that point she was intrigued and learned in 4 days.
Incidently, mine was "dry" long before she was "clean". Her poos coincided directly with her naps...and she prefered making them in her diaper ("I can wiggle mummy"). So she's only been "clean" the last 4 mo or so. They're still timed with her naps, she just gets up to poo now and then goes back to bed.
There's lots written in western pediatric literature about "toiletting pressure" and how harmful it can be for a child, never mind how painful the severe constipation that often results is.
I've sort of wondered if the chinese way is driven more by the relative expense of disposable diapers and the hassle of cloth ones for those without modern laundry facilities. If either of those were big factors in the lives of most western people, westerners might also be motivated to help children learn early. (Balinese children learn early too, but traditional living there is also simpler and with fewer modern conveniences.)
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The youngest I've heard a child being trained is 9 months old. I had a lot of pressure to train my son when he was that age and I just ignored it. I didn't train him until 2.5 years which was when he started showing a sign of interest and he was dry during the day in 3 days. It makes a big difference if the kid is ready and (s)he wants to do it.
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2006
20 yrs ago
Our first kid was trained "Western style", living with my mum in Britain. Our second kid was trained "Asian style" living with my Asian mum in law here. Both were fully trained between 20 and 22 months.
Ergo... makes no difference!
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vvv
20 yrs ago
The Chinese way takes a long time to train but the child will be trained before 2 years old. I know children that were trained the Chinese way and they were all potty-trained by 18 months or so. My daughter was trained the Western way when she was 2+ and it took 3 days!
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You guys should read up on Freud before jumping into Potty Training. Accroding to Freud, early potty traning leads to anal retentive adults! But then again many play schools don't admit non toilet trained kids which will lead to an inferior education. Oh my goodness, now I'm completly confused on what to do with my two year old. Guess I'll keep him in diapers until he shows an interest and hope that he'll grow up under Freuds assumptions!
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thanks for all your replies. about elimination communication - hmm, interesting! takes a lot of commitment and effort. not quite sure i can do it.
HongKongBlue: who is Freud and what do you mean by anal retentive adults? pls elaborate..
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Taurus,
Please.... Sigmund Freud the famous psychologist. Anal retentive is someone that is bascially 'uptight', or on greater elaboration..
"Then the child typically moves on to the "anal stage" which is characterised by the child deriving pleasure from bowel movements. The child discovers the pleasure which comes from the exercise of power (in this instance the power to hold on or let go.) The retentive character takes pleasure in holding in the faeces. These people develop into neat, organised, careful, meticulous, obstinate people often mean with money who are passive-aggressive."
Good Luck!
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