Posted by
crj
20 yrs ago
How old is your baby?
Do you let your maid take your baby out?
How do they travel - walk, bus, taxi?
If Taxi/Bus - does she bring a car seat? Wear a baby bjorn? How does she carry the baby safely?
How often do they go out?
For what purpose? Playing, travelling to school or shopping?
Our Story:
Our maid used to do the shopping, cooking cleaning. Husband and I both work full time. Once we had the baby, we now do the shopping at the weekend, and she spends her days taking care of baby and cleaning while baby naps and cooking a quick simple dinner in evening when we are done with work.
She does take him out in the pram for a daily walk around our flat.
I am reluctant to let maid take baby out in taxis or buses. Maid is 60 years old, and while an excellent helper who loves our 8 month old son, I am not confident she has the strength to take him out safely.
We do not live in walking distance of any shops, so she can't just take him out in the pram to the shops.
We were once in the car with our baby and the helper. Baby was in car seat and crying. Helper said, oh, 'can I just pick him up' as she was reaching to get him from the car seat - I shouted 'no!' Husband said I overreacted. I was terrified that she had no concept of the purpose of the car seat and that crying was less important than safety.
When baby turns one year old in January 2007, he will start going to a play group every morning, so it will not be an issue when that starts. It is only an issue between now and then.
Very interested to learn how other families manage this.
Thanks
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playgroup every morning for a one year old? for how many hours?
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crj
20 yrs ago
2.5 hours, only 6 children, 3 adults. More like glorified baby sitting, but in a stable environment.
Do you have any experience with letting your maid take your baby out?
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I have a great DH for many years, however I have never allowed her to take children out, I always do it. On the odd occassion that she has I have had her call me to say she is at her destination as I would worry until she called me. I understand that you work so you may want to keep the times you DH goes out with your baby to a minimum and them I would have her use a cab and not a bus and get her to ring you when she has reached her destination to put your mind at rest. At the same time go through the safety rules with her.
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Our helper has worked with babies before and is probably even more careful than us sometimes. We tend to ask our helper to take a taxi when taking our son on outings (she also goes shopping at the markets with him if we are not home), although she is equally happy taking the bus or MTR. In the summertime though, I insist on a taxi since it is too hot outside, although I consider a pram in the MTR the safest option. I don't see how a single individual could manage a baby, a car seat and a stroller without a lot of help.
With respect to your helper's competence, I would not underestimate her strength based on her age alone. I see Chinese grandmothers and greatgrandmothers doing a lot more than just carrying their babies in Hong Kong. Babies are pretty resilient.
Is this a structured playgroup your son is attending? Who will take him there and back?
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crj
20 yrs ago
CathyJane
How does your helper carry the baby in the taxi? How old is your baby? When did she start taking him out (how old then)?
TsuiWah
How does your helper carry the baby in the taxi? How old is your son? When did she start taking him out (how old then)?
I plan on taking him to and from the playgroup as it is between my house and office. Currently I work at home, but will have to start 1/2 days in the office, so will time that around his morning. This is the plan, but nothing is confirmed so I don't have more info.
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Bearing in mind she will only go out with one child at a time and has done so only a few times. She uses a Greco car seat stroller, a car seat on wheels. She takes the seat off of the wheels and they go in the boot of taxi and she pops the car seat on seat and straps it in. She first went I think when baby was 10 months old and it was a five minute journey.
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i just got my maid last month so i have not much experience in this. i let my maid take my son out but only to park and shop by foot or by a short bus ride, and that is all that i allowed. i take him to playschool by myself and i take him to playground by myself. unlike you, i dont work, so i guess it's easier for me. i am a very possesive mother and i am still having difficulty handing my son over to my helper but i guess it will happen one day when my second baby come.
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crj
20 yrs ago
For those that let your maid take your baby on the bus or in a tax....
HOW DOES THE MAID CARRY THE BABY SAFELY?
Car Seat?
Baby Bjorn?
etc...
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My son is 9 months, he has been taken out by my helper(s) since he was 3 months old and I was back at work. He goes to a weekly baby class ( taxi) or walking in the buggy if not too hot or rainy. He goes to Park n Shop, HK park, Bowen Rd.- allover. Anywhere that requires non- walking/easy route/city centre stuff I insist and pay for a cab. He goes in the baby bjorn and is strapped in with her in the back.
I made sure I took my helper out with me in taxi's etc for the first few times, just so she was confident in the process. So far, fingers crossed, we have never had a problem. Babies need to go outside- they need to see things and learn about the world around them. As long as you make sure your helper is super safe, your baby will be OK. He will be much better than if you insist he is kept in like a pet everyday, anyway. Make sure she always has a mobile.
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To be clear- baby bjorn, seatbelted in the back. Helper can cope with his weight for a couple of hours. ( which is longer than I can). I dont let her take the buggy - I am confident only with me and my hubby doing the whole lifting in and out of boot, unlocking, transferring to buggy from baby bjorn thing. He wriggles too much. She never goes on the bus or the MTR.
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I think it's a good idea to have the DH take the child out via whatever the mode of transportation. That way she (a) has the ability and (b) she/you have the confidence she can do it. Isn't it better to know she can manage/cope on an everyday basis rather than leaving it to when it's absolutely necessary and then find she can't?
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cd
20 yrs ago
I've never let my helpers take my kids out on outings. Occassionally they pick my daughter up from kindy, and will always get the taxi back. He sometimes watches the kids in the pool but thats 50 yards from the house. But then I don't work (only a few hours very ocassionally) so its a bit different. To be honest I see toddlers out with helpers everyday and its a bit scary how lax they are at watching them sometimes. None use reins, they're often not in pushchairs and often they're chatting in groups without keeping an eye on the child. But also there are many good ones out there that are careful and trustworthy. Maybe go out with your helper and baby a few times, but let her hold the baby and see how she copes. Altough to be honest I think her age is against her, its quite physical in HK lugging pushchairs up and down stairs, in and out of taxi's, on the MTR etc.
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in singapore you see alot of helpers on their own with the little kids. some are like what cd said - they are quite lax. but some manage very well. some of my friends let their helpers take their babies out for walks, playgroups, etc but some don't even allow them downstairs for a walk around the block. the main issue for these people is trust - they just don't trust their helpers, one of them is terrified the helper will use the outings as an opportunity to meet men.
if your issue is safety (sounds like it is from your 1st post what with car seats and all) and not trust - try training her. the asian culture (i assume your helper is asian) is just not used to car seats for babies unless they actually own a car so you just need to drill it into her head the importance of car safety. even my mum wanted to take my baby out of the carseat once because he was having meltdown - but i told her firmly not to. i felt it would be better for him to cry for the 30 min journey than potentially fly out of the window!
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Personally I wouldn't let my helper take my kid out and about around HK. You are right that it is very strenuous. HK is not a baby friendly place at all. I actually consider myself to be quite fit and strong and I even struggle to lug my little guy around as an average day popping to the shops includes lugging pram up steps and holding on for dear life as you go back down an escalator with a pram. However that said, if you work f/t your little guy really needs to get out and about. My boy goes nuts if we stay in all day.
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oj
20 yrs ago
Oh for the love of god, it's all about trust.
Do you TRUST your helper to look after your baby/child when you are not in the house? If you don't then surely she shouldn't have been employed.
Our family has had our helper ever since my youngest was 10 months old and i trust her whole heartedly. She is treated like a moajor part of our family and we actually refer to her as an Auntie. She takes the kids out locally, to the beach, playground, club and sometimes into town is i am unable to take them to their dance classes.
With regards to buggy use, get a Baby Bjorn for her to use, much simpler and convenient.
So ladies, relax and lkearn to TRUST someone else with your chiold, PLUS, it helps your child learn to trust other people, big plus when going to kindergartens, staying over at people's house......
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A baby bjorn is ok to use, but you mustn't have the belt around the baby - if here was an accident the baby would get very badly injured. Put the belt around you/your helper instead.
You can buy a Quinny Zapp from Wing On/B2B for about $2K, it is a stroller that can take a Maxi-Cosi car seat. It folds up very tiny. Only problem is that I don't think it handles very well, but if you won't be using it for long distances, just for travelling in cars/planes (it folds up enough to go in the overhead compartment), I think it would be great.
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crj--I think you need to make decisions like this based on the helper you've hired, how safely she handles your baby, how well she follows your direction, and how satisfied you are when she makes her own judgements. There are loads of helpers in HK whom I think make appalling safety decisions, and others who are very conscientious.
I'm not working now and I've chosen to be the one who takes ours out. For the first two years, we didn't have a car and I felt safer in a taxi than other modes of transportation, so that's what we did except for the odd MTR jaunt.
For the first year, she was in a rear facing infant carseat that was designed for use with or without a base, so it could be safely strapped in with just a seat belt. It wasn't seamless though, there are loads of taxi's with no center seatbelt, many taxi's zip away from the curb before baby's strapped in, you know how it is. I learned quite a few useful cantonese words then. I used the carseat with a Kohlcraft Universal Carseat carrier, which, coupled with the carseat was functionally like the Quinny/MaxiCosi combo that's out now, except that the Kohlcraft had a huge carry-all basket underneath (and the quinny is better looking). If I'd gone with the bjorn then, I think I would have turned her to face me, but I was more comfortable with the carseat decision and I could handle the inconvenience.
Between a year and ~18 or 20 mo, she was forward facing in a bjorn, with the seatbelt slipped between the two of us, around me but not her. (She's small so I could carry her in the bjorn to 20 mo.)
From then, she's been between my legs in a JoeySafe, which she still uses whenever we ride by taxi.
I think you're prudent crj, to not just follow the pack but to try to figure out the safest reasonable arrangement for your child. There aren't many accidents in HK, but there are some. I uncovered some statistics when we were buying our car and, in 2002, the most recent figures available at the time, there were over 300 accidents involving taxi's and (as I remember) 5 injuries of children under five and 2 deaths.
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crj
20 yrs ago
My Thoughts - thanks.
I am sooo looking forward to when he can fit into a joeysafe or something more convenient than the car seat for safety! But with his small size and slow growth it will be a while.
We haev decided an initial compromise - we are going to tell the maid to take baby in pram to playground 1-2 times a day. So they are getting out of the flat. And still trying to avoid trips to market or in taxis.
Then on some days, when I don't have meetings, she can go in taxi alone to market during his nap - as long as she is quick (therefore we pay for taxi). This way I can still work, but am here for emergencies if he wakes up, and she can still get some shopping done.
But I have never seen her do anything quickly, so we need to test this one first to see if she can do this in 1.5 hours!
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hi crj--you may have seen this in the trading post, but someone has just listed a (actually 2) sit'n stroll strollers, you know, the carseat with wheels. Dunno if that was something you're thinking about for down the road, but as far as I know, they aren't available here.
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