Posted by
Tjej
20 yrs ago
Hi, my husband recently went to Shanghai for business and part of his trip was spent at Karoke bars being "entertained" by various Chinese women. The were in a private room and were given lap dances. My husband says this is how business and entertaining is done in China. Is this true? Should I be worried about this?
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Z
20 yrs ago
Yes, it can be how business and entertaining is done in China; no, it isn't always that way. It should be possible for him to politely decline lap dances even if he finds himself in such a situation. My advice is to be glad that he told you straight up and use it as an opportunity to talk about these situations openly and honestly. You probably need to worry more if he isn't telling you about it than if he is. So sorry.
Before we came to Asia, we were given the advice to first examine our marriage, and if there were any major problems, don't move because these types of things are much much more common and can make Asia very hard on a marriage.
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I am based in Shanghai and my husband travels an enormous amount for his job. It is true that many opportunities are given to any many during these trips to do whatever they would like.
He has even been woken up at night by special kinds of "room service" at his door which need to be "politely declined".
Even I have been receiving the late night phone calls in my hotel room when on business trips asking whether I would like a massaaaaage?
However as said above, I think you should be glad your husband told you about it, instead of prefering not to tell you. it shows he trusts you to trust him.
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Tjej
20 yrs ago
Thanks so much for the advice. I am glad that he told me about it. I was just curious as I am new to this culture!
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Totty
20 yrs ago
I remember walking down Nanjing Road with a couple of freinds and we were all with our kids (5 of them) and one 'lady' approached the fiend. whilst walking with us, and asked him for a coffee and a little extra. Brave and upfront woman!
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Hi Tjej, I am a local girl in Shanghai and have been in this so called "foreigner circle" for a long time. I don't want to say this, but - girls here are just too easy to get. Some of my foreign friends told me they got involved into a relationship without even noticing it. I know this is stupid to say ... anyway, trust your husband, BUT never leave your husband alone in Shanghai for more than a month. Men are like kids, they definitely need discipline. Good luck!
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