Teenagers

Well, as a parent of two teens, one boy, one girl, I feel qualified to give you some answers to your questions. Although I'm sure that other parents of teens will have different views.


"Teenagers nowadays ...." - I would guarantee that parents for many generations have been saying the exact same thing.


The "Uniform" issue - It is my belief that many kids go out to school in the mornings looking fairly decent ... It's also my belief that many of them (especially girls) make a few adjustments to their uniform before they've arrived at school ... hitching up their skirt to make it shorter or whatever. Again, I don't think this is anything new ... I remember my own mother, who was a teenager in the late '50's/early '60's, telling me that my grandfather was strict with her, but even back then she says she often took other 'more revealing' items of clothing out with her, hidden in a bag, that he wouldn't allow her to wear. The 'mini-skirt' of course, came from the 'swinging '60's era', so it's nothing new to the teenagers of today. Yes, I agree that it shouldn't perhaps be worn as school uniform, but kids of today are living in a very fashion conscious world and they want to be part of it. Then they have peer pressure ... not wanting to look different, or to be the odd one out. I myself have had a few discussions with my own daughter about certain clothing, but if she didn't wear cetain clothes with my approval, she'd probably wear them without it.


I can't remember exactly, but I would say that my kids were probably around 12/13 when they started to do things with their friends, such as shopping trips, going to the movies etc. And around 13/14 when they started 'hanging out' at other friends places, perhaps on Fri/Sat nights (with parents consent of course).


Once they get to secondary school, they grow up so quickly it's frightening, and although it's hard, you have to 'let them go' for want of a better phrase. It doesn't seem 2 minutes since my eldest started secondary school, but he'll be off to university next year and I'll have absolutely no control over what he does then. This is why I think it's important to let kids make some of their own decisions ... even if you don't like them ... it's the only way they're going to learn how to handle the big wide world when they get out there.


I don't think you're an over-protective parent, I had exactly the same fears when my kids were younger, but as long as you give them your guidance along the way, and teach them right from wrong, they'll hopefully turn out ... regardless of what clothes they're wearing as teens.


As parents we all try to do the best we can for our kids, that may be different from one set of parents to another as we all have different views on the matter. You have to do what you feel is right for your own kids ... and try not to worry too much!

I agree. I think that when you have younger kids you tend to look at all these scruffy lumps hanging around the shopping centres and think "God, my child's never going to be like that!", but then these little angels grow up and you love every sweaty sock they bring home and cherish the odd grunts of conversation over the breakfast table. To be fair, I think teenagers are given a bad press and as Sapphire says, they really are no different to how we or are parents were. We've had the mods, the rockers, the punks, in fact they all seem tame in comparison! A lot of them don't think much about how we dress either!

My daughter is 18 and still wears a school uniform. I certainly wouldn't be offended if I saw her or others her age holding hands or kissing their boyfrinds at the bustop, I'm sure teenagers that age know how far they can take things in a public place...I heard on the radio a few weeks ago about a survey that said more people were offended by people kissing in public than by seeing people drop litter, seems wrong to me.

My 12 year old son has started going out with his friends in the last year, not all the time but sometimes they'll go for a Macdonalds and to the cinema, sometimes shopping. Sapphire is right, once theystart secondary school they seem to mature before your eyes.

Its a teenagers job to try and push the boundaries a bit, we all did it to our parents, and their kids will do it to them. On the whole though teenagers here are pretty good.

Thanks saphhire, blue iris and cd for reassuring.


However, many a times we see teenagers with their school uniform getting into some sort of 'indecent' display of physical attraction with fellow school mates. Do these acts lead to some sort of any 'irreversible' acts? Many parents may not be able to know or tell if their kids choose to keep it to themselves, until.... the very last seconds when .... BOOM! something happened....

Or worse, as some thread here reveal, getting some sort of cross-infections... Hmmm...

Depends what you mean by 'indecent display' ... If you're talking about kissing and cuddling, I have absolutely no problems with that whatsoever ... In my view it's all part of growing up ... I did it when I was a teen, but it didn't mean that I turned out to be some single teenage mother with a couple of kiddies, if that's what you're worried about. In fact, I find it quite sad that some people in society today frown upon kissing & cuddling in public ... what's wrong with showing affection for someone you care about ... even if you're a teenager? That's part of the problem with today's world. I personally think it's the people who get offended by it that have the problem.


If it's something else you're talking about, then I'm afraid that I can honestly say I've never witnessed it.


As I said in my previous post, as long as you let your child know right from wrong, AND ... now this is important ... you are OPEN with them ... ie ... you bring them up in a situation where they feel they can discuss things with you and they don't feel that you're on another planet ... meaning that if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend, you don't freak out about it. Obviously, having two teens of my own , I realise that they don't always want to discuss things with parents ... but just knowing that they can, and you're not going to freak out about anything, will make a lot of diffence to your relationship with your teenager ... I KNOW!!

I'm also curious velocity - what do you mean by indecent displays. Just kissing or something more?

I agree with Sapphire - simple kissing and cuddling should hardly be labelled indecent?