Posted by
cheated_on
20 yrs ago
Found out bf was cheating on me for the last couple of months. That woman is married and they have been together for around 2 years, felt really sick when I found out. Then found out that he also started with another one about a month ago. Felt sooo shocked that I nearly fainted. Common sense and everything tells me that I need to dump his arse, but I couldnt and I didnt. This is not the first time a bf has cheated on me, this is already my third bf to do so. Y Y Y Y do they need to do this to me?
I am still together with him, no matter wat my friends say I am still with him, I dnt knw wat is holding me to him, I know I need to leave. Just wanted to let it out of my system. Does a normal relationship nowadays involve more than 2 people?
Please support our advertisers:
If you feel 'so shocked that you nearly fainted',in this case you should had come to your sense that this man had cheated you TWICE.Nobody can do this to you unless you allow them to.Just leave him!
A normal relationship DO not involve more than two people.Dont ask why.Love is selfish.So 2 pax in 1 relationship is enough.More than that will give you a bad headache.
Please support our advertisers:
I didnt allow him to do this to me. He didnt expect me to find out. I read his computer because I was feeling very very uneasy about something. Is it better to be ignorant and not know? Sometimes I really wonder y we bother going into a relationship at all when it all ends up in tears and heartbreaks.
Please support our advertisers:
Ms
20 yrs ago
Leave him and move on. You life will only get bitter otherwise. Don't wast your time on useless men. Treat yourself right girl!
Please support our advertisers:
Leave him as he would keep on having affairs whenever he fancies.
This guy will not change.I know this type.
Please support our advertisers:
I know I should, but Why is it so hard for me to let go? Is it because of my pride?.. I cant admit to myself that this is the 3rd bf to do this to me.. the last 2 I dumped them not quite straight away, but about 2 weeks after... I cant seem to explain to myself why Im still sticking around.. Is it because we want to victimize ourselves? Sh!t..
Please support our advertisers:
Why be with someone who treats you like trash! I think it's insecurity and you are probably afraid of moving on - that you would rather stick with the bad guy than not to have one at all. But that's wrong. You gotta be good to yourself. It is not worth it and the more you let them do this to you, they will push it even further. So what's your limit?
Please support our advertisers:
It has happened to you 3 times because you have just been unlucky.....keepo youre self respect and move on...please...he will NEVER change
Please support our advertisers:
Something is making it hard for you to leave, and you need to figure out what it is. I suggest you try to get yourself into a more independent situation: emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. This will make it easier to leave and also will there won't be presure to jump into the next relationship. And set the bar a bit higher next time -- find someone who values you a bit more, someone who exhibits more character than a dog after a b in heat. Coz de one yu wid' is nuthin' but a scumbag.
Please support our advertisers:
In my opinion, a relationship involves only 2 people if both of them are willing to keep it that way. If this has happened to you 3 times, maybe it's time to reflect and understand what has gone wrong in the past relationships and what can be improved. No point moaning and groaning and then find yourself in an exact same situation a few years down the road. Be proactive and do something about it.
Please support our advertisers:
Sunnie- I dont really know how people view relationships nowadays, if you asked me to name how many guys I know who cheat on their gf/ wives I can give you 10 names straightaway and these do not include my exes. A couple of gals I know are into 3-people relationship, they seem to like to go for guys with gf/ wives - and they brag about the guy being with them when they should be with their other significant half.
That is why I raised the question "Does a normal relationship nowadays involve more than 2 people? "
If I asked you how many people you know that cheat / have cheated - how many names can you name?
Mei - I dont know what is making it so hard for me to leave. I am financially and physically independent. Maybe I am not mentally and emotionally stable, somehow I think that maybe the emotional scar never healed when I found out my 1st bf did this to me and my heart in believing in a "2 persons" relationship died then. Maybe I dont really have faith in marriage and "love you forever" vows anymore.
Why do we want to be in a relationship? Is it for companionship when we grow old or is it because we are afraid of that desolate feeling?
Please support our advertisers:
I know people who are willing to cheat on their partners without batting an eyelid, and I know people who are faithful and in long distance relationships. I was in a long distance relationship myself before and after marriage. Well, it's all about what you're happy with. There are friends that I know who started as happy girlfriends to their married boyfriends (knowing boyfriend was married before starting a relationship) and then turning crazy when they finally realised that the married boyfriends are not leaving their wives. Question pose to you now, what do you want? You want a man that's constantly unfaithful to you? Then take it and not grumble about it. If you want a faihful man, go look for one and keep it that way. I'm a strong believer of you chose your choices in life.
Please support our advertisers:
I feel sorry for you but you will survive.
Here is ONE good reason for you to dump him now.
If you stick with hime, sooner or later, you may get HIV and AIDS and other SEXUAL TRANSMITTED DISEASES.
Now is he worth it ? I think the answer is clear.
Think of your
1) mental health
2) sexual health
HIV HIV HIV...I hope that opens your eyes.
You have friends, ask for their support, and you will be strong again..and you will find someone who deserves you. It will be painful, but walk away, and ask your girlfriends to help you through it.
Please support our advertisers:
Yah, and if you don't leave him, it's condoms 100% of time. One of my girlfriends was devastated when she got genital herpes from her supposedly monogamous husband, and of course this happens with HIV too. The other thing, in terms of your Q whether this is normal, is that it's mostly a matter of what is normal in your peer group. If you hang out with people who think this is normal and act accordingly, then it will be normal in your peer group. If you hang out with people who don't think it's normal, then it wouldn't be. So, where are you meeting your friends? If this doesn't reflect your values, maybe it's time to change lifestyle and get a new set of friends? It does involve change, but it can be done.
Please support our advertisers:
trying to find some reasons on yourself would do more good, since it's the 2nd time your 3rd bf doing this to you.
Please support our advertisers:
'cheated on' I feel so bad for you. It hurts so much when you love someone and they detray you. I was engaged and deeply in love with a beautiful sucessful man who I thought thought the world to me and I found out he was having an affair for 3 months with a girl who worked at a bar. I was more than surprised and it took me 2 weeks to leave him. The next year I met a wonderful man and got married. You will find someone worthy. It's hard to leave and you will go through hard times but if you stay with him you will miss out on someone special. You are getting great advise but it's up to you what you decide to do. I have to say what Meiguoren said was so true to me. In Hong Kong I have met some of the best friends of my life but I have also met some of the most amoral (just according to my values, not speaing for others) people ever. At the bank where my husband works so many of the men are cheating on their wives with girls from the office or the bar. They spend more time drinking with collegues then their families. My husband used to get so much flak from people at his office because we spent Friday nights together instead of him off with them chasing girls. I think if you spend time with people who live like this you can become nonchalant about things that at one time would shock you. Best of luck and just spend some time with girlfriends.
Please support our advertisers:
If this is your 3rd time, there's a problem here. Either it's you're totally unlucky or you gave opportunity for them to cheat. Anyway YOU should definitely LEAVE him & move on. There's no point to let yourself suffer. Wish you the best of luck and be strong :)
Please support our advertisers:
i might be wrong but u seem to have a low self esteem, u need to love urself girl. u need to ask urself y, y ur letting him treat you like a doormat. Im sure this is not what u want, ur relationship seems to be emotionally abusive. once u learn to love and respect yourself, it will be easy for you to walk out of this relationship.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail