Why is your under 3 in school??

Hello all,

I'm trying to get an understanding of why so many expat parents have their babies in kindergarten so young? I know that the Chinese push education as early as possible.....I'm still unsure why.

I have found a huge lack of confidence in the mums I meet, I teach their two year olds and it seems like they send them to school so I can potty train them, teach them to eat by themselves, learn to sit in a chair and learn the alphabet and numbers.

BUT what I know for a fact is that all these kids would learn all these things faster if they had someone teaching them one on one and they didn't have to share two adults among 22 or more students.

I cannot really believe it's lack of money so mum has to work....cause these schools cost you an arm and a leg to go to, and they nearly all have helpers who could be doing the teaching at home if mum can't be there.

Social reasons.......well okay but why not have play groups that have more suitable hours say just two hour sessions so I don't have children falling asleep on me or kicking and screaming cause they're so exhausted.


I adore the children I teach.....but I feel sorry for them living with so much pressure at two. Some of them are still real babies that NEED to be home with one main caregiver.

I have a two year old......who stays home with his baby brother while I work in the mornings at the kindergarten. So I know what it's like to have to work and need options for your child. I am so desperate to find a fun place for him to play in the mornings that is more relaxed and has mixed ages but I haven't found anything in Ma On Shan.

Sorry to go on......I get frustrated by the system here.

I wrote a reply to the other post "worried, interviews one." it might give you some idea.


I agree though, children from USA, Canada, Australia.... have much more of a free, and pressure free "childhood" before age of 5 than that of Hk's.


We have to go with the flow in HK b/c if I don't send my child at 18 months to a playgroup, I feel I am depriving him/her of a formal setting of stimulation, and also, I learn a lot how to be a "better" and "less paranoid" parent from these classes. I also enjoy meeting other mothers, I have a good social network as a result of meeting other mothers in the playgroup.

"I cannot really believe it's lack of money so mum has to work....cause these schools cost you an arm and a leg to go to, and they nearly all have helpers who could be doing the teaching at home if mum can't be there."


1.

I work full time. I half day at the office and half day at home so I can breast feed by baby. But this does not allow me to be the main care giver to my baby.


I work to pay the rent, the bills, the maid and eventually education fees. My husband is starting his own business and not able to fully support the family at this time.


So sorry to dissapoint you that not all non-local HKers are on expat packages that pay for everything.


2. Yes, we have a helper. Basically an uneducated Philipino. She is very good with the baby and very caring. But I do not want her to be the only influence in my child's life.

Many helper organised playgroups are the helpers standing around talking while the baby plays.


2. I think sending our child to school before 3 is important - not to teach him how to be potty trained or to eat (we do this at home), but to teach him how to share, respect others, play games and sing songs we don't know, interact with other similar age babies, and have some structure in their day.


I have chosen a 3 hour morning pre-school that he will start at 1 year 9 months. The class is 3 teachers, 12 students, very loving and caring, with a fun daily schedule that includes month based themes and a variety of activities. I am thrilled with this choice as they are doing everything I would want to do if I could.


4. In the ideal world, I could stay at home and meet other mummy friends with similar age babies regulalry, we could arrange toy sharing and story times and group play activities. In the real world, I have to work a very demanding job and am trying very very hard to make the best choices for my baby.


There is no perfect choice, everything has compromomises, many of us are doing the best we can to try to raise our children with the constraints that we have.


It would be great not to be judged for trying to make the best decissions when there is no perfect answer.


Sorry if this sounds aggressive, but it is 7:30 in the morning, I got up to have an hour with the baby before getting ready for work, made his breakfast and lunch, chose his clothes for the day, and now have to leave for work. There is so much stress to try to 'do the right thing' and it is just not always possible.


If we were in the UK, Australia, Canada or USA, many babies would have to go to what they call 'daycare' which is a lot worse than a few hours a day in a structured school... so overall, I think the options here are very good compared to other countries and it is important to choose a playgroup/pre-school that fits into your own educational ideas.


Sorry again, but yes, we are all frustrated, even so-called 'expats'. And, believe it or not, we are all trying to make the best choices for our children and families - just as you are.

I think a lot has to do with apartment living. Once my children were very active they were really looking to do something outside the apartment - and you can't be out ALL day.


I had my children at kinder by 2.9 years, it's just 3 hours in the morning and not really anything like you describe - they have a ratio of 1 adult to six children and it's all learning through play.


I know that back in Australia I wouldn't have my kids in a kinder at this age as it's much easier to entertain them at home with a garden and more space.


Also at home I don't find it a big deal to take the kids with me everywhere, I do try to avoid taking the kids to the supermarket here or when I'm out running errands.


My childen were happy at their kinder and I would get all of my jobs done (and go for a run) so that we could have the afternoon doing things together.


I certainly haven't experienced any children "kicking and screaming cause they're so exhausted" - although I have no doubt it happens at other kinders.

i'm really glad my child is not being taught by you! you are obviously frustrated and angry with the parents. perhaps if you disagree with the system so much, you should look for other means of employment... sorry to be hard- but you've been quite outspoken yourself, so i think it's warranted!

my boy is 9 months now. we plan to try for a second one when he hits 1 year. if all goes as planned (since we got pregnant the first time we tried), he will have a little sibling before he is 2. and no, we can't put off having no. 2 because hubby is much older.


we do not have a helper and we have decided that we do not want to have one for as long as possible. i have a part-time cleaner and my mom babysits when we seriously need a night off.


i will be working part-time from home soon when my hubby's business is up and running in jan.


you put all these together, i anticipate that 1-1.5 years from now, i might be unable to cope with work, an active toddler and a new baby under one roof. i will miss him badly but i think it will be for the best if i start him in a thrice weekly playschool when he is 18 months. i think i will need these 3 mornings a week to work, recharge, run errands, bond with my new baby - my future toddler would have had 18 months of undivided attention from me, i think i have done the best i can.


having said that, maybe there are moms who throw their kids into school once they can so that their helpers can polish their silverware daily and they have enjoy their coffee mornings with other moms of leisure. but i think for most of us, probably those who can be bothered enough to post questions about their kids' issues on this forum, i don't think we plan/plan to place kids in schools just because we can.

Well said Wheelymate.


Even if there is no need to work, there is no rule that says a mother must be a stay at home mum - a few hours in school every day has benefits for the whole family - especially if mum gets to rest a bit!

Hi all thanks for all your posts.

Hi Zalca, actually I adore the kids I teach....but I do get frustrated by the system cause I am new to it and have taught in daycares in New Zealand with a much different expectation on the teacher. Sorry I sounded so grumpy in my first post. I just wish I could tuck this one baby in bed cause she's so tired in class and cries all morning...I don't mean off and on, she screams. and anything I do worsens it. She's new she'll take a while to adjust but it is stressful when I have other babies that I want to give my attention to as well. And very stressful to try to work to this tight curriculum that I partly disagree with.

huh and if you think I have a bad attitude remember I am a mum with two babies, most of chinese teachers at our school have no kids of their own and no empathy for individual kids needs.

All the students are Chinese so maybe the other international kindies are different.


And wheelymate I agree mums shouldn't have to stay home just because they can. I wish so much I could find an in between option up here in the new territories. Seems there is a lot of western style daycares on HK Island.


Well I'm slowly trying to change the classroom environment by introducing more free play with dress ups and putting in a homecorner and trying to theme the room more.


I have had both my boys in childcare for 3 hours in the morning while I was studying..it was perfect I miss that daycare desperately as the staff ratios were great. The kids got to play in the grass and sand pit outside and they loved it soooo much.


But I love Hong Kong...so here we are faced with the differences and trying to do the best we can in a society that doesn't offer as much choice as I'm used to.

Gherron - your recent post is much clearer! I think we are all frustrated which is why my reply and others are so emotionally charged on this issue.


You sound like you are trying to make a change in the school you work in - which is great.


There are more 'progressive' style kindies in the NT - it is worth researching a bit more, but of course job opportunities vary upon availability and what teaching qualifications you have.

Hi crj,

I am teaching part time and my husband works there full time so together we get a good housing deal etc. So it's working for us for now. I am pretty attached to my class of kids so would see them out to the end of this year definately. But my husband would like to get a job teaching mathmetics, his major, at a international school. And then I will be free to be home mornings and would like to open up my dance studio for jazz and hip hop in the afternoons. Would also mean we'd move somewhere with a few more opportunities for our kids.