Difficult to motivate

I'm a single mom of a 6 1/2 yr old girl. She has started primary school in Sept. My problem is that she is too lazy to do homework. It is very hard for me to get her to sit down and do her homework. She also plays the Piano and has to practice for 1 hour every night but also this is a problem. She has been playing for a year and every night she looks for an excuse not to go for Piano practice. She's only excited about going on the night when she has a lesson and her teacher is there. All she wants to do is play.


HELP PLEASE!

i'm with your daughter! one hour practise per night plus homework sucks!


maybe you can lighten up on the practise? or else she may pack it in permenantely~!

Hi Aries477, I am a piano teacher of over 17 years. I personally disagree very much for ANY 6 year old to have to practice on the piano longer than 20 minutes-30 minutes (maximum) a day. It's really not necessary.... there are very ambitious moms and students out there. I do have to occasionial student who can practice 1-2 hours a day at that young age, but b/c they choose to, and they love it. But for the average student, ESPECIALLY in HK, 30 minutes a day at the piano is already VERY VERY good. I recommend they break it up too, 2 sessions of 15-20 minutes practice is already a great achievement.


Regarding PLAY..... she's only 6, it's very normal for her to just want to PLAY !

Let her enjoy her childhood. Homework, practice... all part of her responsiblity, but definitely don't expect her to volunteer her time to do it without any coaxing, bribing, and explaining....

My mother was quite ambitious for me. I was born and brought up in HK to an English father and a Chinese mother. At the age of 5/6 I was going to ballet and having piano lessons as well. And of course I had to practice my piano every day. Being a tomboy (even at that age) and having actually no natural musical talent you can imagine how I hated both activities with a passion. I was allowed to give up ballet but was made to play the piano until I was 16! Needless to say, I have NEVER touched a piano since and don't miss it AT ALL! But the scary thing is that to this day, I still remember those childhood days when I was forced to sit at the piano or made to go to ballet - and they are not good memories.

I now have a son, and there is no way I am going to force him to play the piano, or indeed make him do something that he clearly hates. I want to have a better relationship with him than the one I had with my Mum, who was always pushing me to be the doctor/concert pianist/ lawyer that I was never going to be. Do't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with encouraging your children to do well, but in HK and in some parents it does seem to go to extremes.

Let children have a childhood!

Thanks all of you for much appreciated advice. I agree 100 % with you. I'm not trying to push my daughter to be extremely good at anything, I merely want her to have a good useful hobby. Maybe I should explain in more detail. When she was still in kindergarten we tried ballet. I did ballet as a child and I know she likes dancing so I thought ballet would be good. She did it for 3 months and gave up. The reason, because the chinese teacher expects them to press their pelvic bone onto the floor and this is really painful. I was disappointed when she gave up but I didn't want to push. She also likes music so I thought she would enjoy playing the piano. And yes, the teacher expects her to practice 1 hour/day. I also feel it is too long but we go to the community centre and this is expected of all the children. Maybe, I need to speak to the teacher or buy a piano and get a private teacher. The homework is really crazy. We are in Guangzhou and she attends a 'Chinese English' school. School finishes at 16:45, then she stays at school so that the teachers can help her with her homework. When I get to the school at 17:45 sometimes she is still busy. Then we go practice the piano (1 hr) and when we get home after supper, she has to practice writing chinese characters and reading. I remember when I was in school at her age my school day ended at 13:00 and I didn't have any homework. But this is China and the school day is so long and then they have all this homework. I just want her to keep up with the other students. Believe me, I don't believe in pushing a child, especially at this age. I also, want her to enjoy being a child. I also think it is too hard on her. Maybe I should consider another dancing class. Where she can go once a week and that is it. Are there any other foreigners who are facing the same problem in China?

Hi Katetam, I remember you mentioning that you were a piano teacher and want to pose a question to you. My daughter is currently using the following books, John Thompson's Easiest Piano Course 3, Elementary Piano Lessons 2 and another Chinese book. The Chinese book is just for practicing the fingers. The John Thompson's is the most difficult one and she gets two pieces a week from that one, then two/three pieces from the Elementary one and a few from the Chinese book. Do you think she should have to practise so many per week? I have now asked the teacher to give her less to practise and have cut down the practising to 30 min per day.