sleep time crying

Is she home with you now Jazzy?!! Wow, such an exciting time for you.


On the sleeptime crying....for me, and with the adjustment and attachment issues invariably involved in your situation, I would be really wary of letting her cry and cry. For me, it seems you'd want her to become very secure and happy about going to sleep in your home.


I couldn't bear bedtime crying with our (biological)daughter either, and she'd known our home and us since birth.


For a child, even a minute of distress is a very long time for them. I think I'd use all the crutches in these early days, give her a bottle, rock her until she's sleepy, rub her back to sleep, whatever it takes to make dropping off to sleep a secure and cozy experience. Once she can drop off to sleep quietly, you can start to back off on the crutches.


An excellent book on understanding sleep is Richard Ferber's "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". He's the foremost expert on childhood sleep. His book would give you a good all around understanding of sleep and sleep issues--and also give you confidence about how to back off from the crutches when the time comes. As I remember, he recommends that when bedtime needs to be brought forward, it's best/most effectively done in steady increments of 10 minutes a day. That, of course, requires consistency on your part :-)


I went through a long period with our daughter as she was settling into her own bed from ours. It took time, consistency and patience, but she settled well, and has remained an extremely secure sleeper ever since. I think it's a nice way to parent, especially if you can give the time in these early months of attachment.


Good luck Jazzy, you're in a precious time of getting to know one anther now. She's lucky to have you as a mum.

Jazzy, congratulations! I too went through a period of adjusting my daughter's bedtime (from 10pm to 8.30/9pm) and couldn't agree more with my thoughts that it only works if you shift it patiently and slowly, 10 minutes forward a day, so she is not aware of it. I tried "cold turkey" moving it 1 hour forward and not only did she react to the earlier bedtime, she was cranky throughout the day as her morning routine and naptimes were disrupted at the same time.


Richard Ferber's cry-down method never really work for my girl. Tried it several times (for sleeping on her own to not waking up in the middle of the night) but all it achieved was fear of her bedroom and cot. In the end, she started crying even when we walked towards the bedroom, a most trying time for our family. Perhaps she is the "sensitive" sort, since her eyes typically well up with tears even when we raised our voice a little bit. Took me a good two weeks to make her comfortable playing in her bed again. My feelings is that every baby is different and the cry-down method works for some but not others. Lots of soothing words and cuddles are what I recommend.