5 wk old hates daytime naps

I'm trying to start a 'loose' routine based on Tracy Hogg and Gina Ford. My 5 week old has no problem with feeds (I'm BF) and night-time sleeping (in his cot), but absolutely hates sleeping in the daytime in his cot.


We see the signs, yawning & the 'stare.' We go through the motions, swaddle, change nappies, burp, check for discomort, but he screams bloody murder once he's laid down. We try the shush pat & that doesn't help, he screams & screams. He has a pacifier to soothe him. It is so hard, I do this for like 15 mins at a time, only for him to fall asleep for 10 mins. & wake up crying again. It is really exhasting & he gets overly tired because he isn't getting enough sleep in the daytime.


It's like he's afraid of falling asleep, he really fights it. We don't want him to cry it out (he's still pretty young) but we want him to learn to self-soothe. I hate hearing him cry, but I can't stand at his cot all day, then I feel guilty.


Help! Tired & frustrated...

Have you had him checked for reflux - it can be really painful for little ones and doesn't necessarily have to be accompanied by big chucks of milk?

Hi Ness, haven't checked for reflux, we can ask at our big 7-wk appt. He's hardly spit up at all, and he even cries if we hold him upright (which I've heard helps reflux babies). And Waffle_hk, he sleeps like an angel in his carseat/stroller too. Every time I go out my friends think that he's such a good baby, ha ha! ;) Once he's home and relocated to the cot, it's crying time.


I just got a MayaWrap sling, have to watch the dvd and practice w/a teddy bear or something. Thanks for letting me know it gets better, I need to hear that! We are lucky that he does sleep at night. He has his late night feed and promptly goes right back to sleep without a peep. My husband is being a godsend and watching him this afternoon while I get out of the house. I need a breather!


I do love my cuddle time with him, and the way he stares into my eyes makes my heart melt. Then I forget how ornery he gets...

Hi DaniR, as others said - not to worry, things will get better very soon. My bub is almost 3 months old. I still remember he used to refuse sleeping in his cot during day time naps (and sometimes very difficult to have him settled for the night time sleep.) I had to allow him to sleep on his play gym or hug him to sleep until he is willing to be settled/ just too tired to fight. It was very exhausting. I'd very much hope to follow Gina Ford's advice and tried to avoid wrong sleep associations, but he just couldn't fall asleep without the help of a dummy or a lengthy cuddle. It's almost IMPOSSIBLE to make him sleep in his cot half drowsy as Gina suggests - it only ends up crying and crying. I just had to give in. But soon after that (guess at Week 10 or so) the situation improved. I guess he feels more secured about his surroundings. Now I put him in his cot for day time naps without much fuss. Even if he cries, he immediately sucks his fingers and soon able to pacify himself. In a sense he is more in control of himself.


Don't feel guilty about not able to handle it yet. Babies are not robots. They need our help to make them feel comfortable and secured. Things will improve very soon. Good luck!

Joshmom, I do have blackout curtains, but usually it doesn't bother him. He can sleep dead to the world on my chest with me laying on the couch, tv blaring, curtains wide open. As I write, he's passed out on daddy (daddy is also passed out!).


Nicher, your thread described EXACTLY how I feel and how our little one is. We don't want wrong sleep associations but we do what we can to let him (and us) get some decent chunks of sleep. I can't help but feel frustrated when I hear how people say how great their babies' routines are. It's just not his time right now, I guess. I need to remind myself to relish this cuddle time and his unconditional need for his mama.


Thanks for your support, I really needed it tonight. :)

Check this thread... it covers all about my experience with starting a schedule. It is a long thread, but really covers it all.


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/momsdads/threads/87886.asp


It does get better, we all promise you!!!

routines in the daytime, dont' really ever settle down until closer to 3 months - so don't worry to much! It'll take some time and it will eventually come to pass. 5 weeks is sooo young, and you can't really predict much in terms of the baby's schedule. I felt that things got under more control closer to 12-13 weeks.

Joshmomm, just read that thread about the beansprout husk pillow. I just have to get one made! That thought came across my mind several times. He loves being patted (and rocked) and thought that the extra little weight might make him feel more secure, like a hand or an arm.


That being said, there is a version of this actually shaped like an arm & hand at http://www.zakeez.com. Very interesting!!

I used to put my little one in a baby carrier/rocker one that has handles you can pick up and take from room to room kind of like a capsule but more comfortable... he never liked to sleep in his cot either but was fine in the rocker and it also meant I did not have to hold him in a sling which can be very tiring.

Thanks Ruth...I'm going to send you an email, look out for it!


To the other posters, it's official: he's got colic :( Poor little guy has been in pain. Just like simplythebest said, it has kicked in at 5 weeks. My doctor spotted it right away. So, wish me luck and LOTS of patience.

5 wks is too early for crying it out.do you have a swing? i found my kids loved them. you need an electric one which will slowly rock your child so your hands will be free. otherwise, wearing a sling simulates when he/she was in your womb.

re: colic...often the baby feels sick when he/she is NOT breastfed because the formula is too dificult to digest.I've never heard of a breastfed baby who cried so much, but i could be mistaken. Colic is an easy out or explanation for doctors. It means a baby cries and they don't know why. can you see if he or she might be allergic to something in the formula you're giving him/her?do check out the reflux thing too. my nephew had a hernia and cried all the time.

goo luck.

The newborn period can be exhausting for new parents.Many babies do need lots parental contact by cuddling and carrying in the early weeks. Use a sling to keep you baby close and provide a snug secure environment. The sling also provides the gentle movement your baby is missing when he was in utereo. With time and maturity your baby's day time sleeps will become more organized.



I suggest you see a midwife or lactation consultant for assessment to ensure the weight and breastfeeding management are satisfactory.



Matilda International Hospital

Well Baby Clinic

During our doctor's appt (yesterday) his weight gain is right on track and is growing at a good rate, so I don't think that feeding is the problem. He has plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is a good eater. After some doses of Infacol and loud burping, he seems to be a new baby!


He's been great today and slept in the daytime, and slept well last night. Let's hope it stays that way for a little while, fingers crossed! I know that there will be good days and bad. We're going on a long haul trip for CNY (to the U.S. to see grandparents for the first time) and even if I started a routine, it would be thrown out the window! Ah well. I need to get on track with the sling by the sounds of it!


Thanks for your suggestions.

Hi, well, for colic, I had to eliminate dairy while I was BF my first, who turned out to be allergic to it! I later read the casein protein from the dairy can pass into b. milk, but I also even had to eliminate butter, anything with dairy on the label. For colic, a few other potentially gassy foods to consider a trial of elimination are cabbage, corn, broccoli, cucumber. Uum, basically anything you've heard about in old wives tales as being gassy foods. But another factor in the daytime sleep thing was that my first just never needed much sleep, and also tended to be a bit restless and hard to settle, which after the second and third were born I figured out was just her unique personality. I literally had one child that only slept about 9 hrs per day at 6 weeks of age, my second would sleep about 15 hrs per day, and then there was my third who slept so much I wondered if something was wrong, sometimes 21 hours per day! One of mine also preferred to sleep curled up in more of a nest than on a flat surface, one preferred swaddling while another still insists on kicking all covers off. Five / six weeks is a bit young to try and "manipulate" you, your baby most likely really is expressing a genuine need. But, I also learned from experience to differentiate a "tired cry" that is just baby letting off a little steam, and that is probably the only cry I think is okay to ignore. If the baby is just in the normal process of settling, and learning how to settle themselves, then it is good just to let them work through it because it will save you lots of energy if baby can self-settle. Here's how I differentiate: A distressed cry is piercing and shrill, whereas a "I'm tired and need to let off a little steam" cry is just a low pitch kind of fussy cry. If you were to graph the sound, a distressed cry has a sharp, rising peak to the sound, whereas a "letting off steam" cry is not as shrill and doesn't have the spikes in pitch. In its mildest form, it's more like just some fussing or moaning. Anyway, if the crying gets worse and worse if you leave the baby alone, it can actually lead to colic as the baby gets more and more worked up and swallows air as he cries. Plus, if baby learns you will respond to you then he learns to trust you to meet his needs and ultimately will cry less. Anyway, with my first child I had not yet learned to differentiate the cries, she never learned to self-settle, and even as an adult has trouble settling. But then again, maybe it's all personality!? But I confess that the second child learning to self-settle was an accident. I was alone, tending the toddler when the baby started to cry, and I couldn't leave the toddler. To my amazement, the newborn just cried about 5 min and went to sleep, and that was when I learned to differentiate that tired "I want to go to sleep" cry. But be prepared that your very intelligent baby will invariably develop and express a strong preference for mommy to hold and cuddle and, not only that, to hold and cuddle and maybe even nurse all during sleep time, possibly waking up whenever you move! I know there are lots of books with advice how to ride out that period, and likewise I personally believe it's absolutely fine to cuddle as much as you want. Just be prepared that it's coming, it's hard to draw a perfect balance, and think ahead of time how you will deal with it. Also, get your spouse on board with whatever decision you make on how to deal with this. It won't matter how much you to teach baby to self settle if hubby goes in at the first whimper and puts baby in bed with you!