Posted by
trudy
19 yrs ago
Are there any Mums out there without a helper? If so I was just wondering how you are all coping.
I have been bringing up my two children alone for the past 3 years. My eldest is 3 and the youngest 1 and I've found it so far to be a bit of a juggle at times, but possible. The only difficulties I'm finding at the moment is things like getting in and out of taxis with both of them, keeping an eye on my eldest at the playground etc ...
I'd love to chat to others in the same situation.
Trudy x
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fel
19 yrs ago
hi trudy,
i am now looking after my 2 kids alone in HK since we moved here last sept. My elder one turning 3 and younger one turing 1 in May. But i m working on getting a part time helper to do the household chores for me, so i can hv more times for my kids n myself. Like you say, it is managable, and for me, the difficult times are when the kids not feeling well and you wish you have extra hands to help you out.
There are times we really comtemplate in getting a full time maid, but our hse in HK is really small for another person. So part time is the next best alternative for us.
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cd
19 yrs ago
I didn't have a helper for 1 year here, managed on my own with 3 kids. But it is harder here. Its not even about the housework, although thats a bonus getting that done, but just to have an extra pair of hands if one child is sick and you need to take the other to school, being able to visit a doctor without a child in tow, being able to nip to the shop if you've forgotten something without loading 3 kids in a car, and being able to go out with friends in the evening without worrying about the kids.
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I agree, it's possible but a bit trickier than at home. I had no helper for just over 6 months, and it was preferable to having a bad helper.
It did mean that my children went to fewer activities and that I often had to wake up the youngest from naps to do the school run etc. I hardly ever went out with my husband during that time (except for when we had houseguests willing to babysit).
I thought that it would be a breeze, as we never had FT help before moving to HK, but we did have creches and babysitters, not to mention family that lived a whole lot closer. Having no helper meant that I could not take my daughter or son to swwim class etc (because I needed to be in the pool too and there was nobody to look after the other child). When I or one of the children was ill, it was a nightmare (I would have to drag a sick child out of bed and put him into the car while I collected the other from school, so recovery took a lot longer).
All in all, it is possible, and certainly has its advantages, but with a husband who is away for upto 2 weeks at a time, on balance, I'd rather have help.
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jele
19 yrs ago
Hello,
I am working at home with 2 children younger than 4. The older is going to school. But the younger stays with me.
It is really hard because I must work, and my boss checks my job.
I think that you need a partime helper to help you with household, and a good babysitter to go out the evening.
For the taxi, I go out the 1st with the younger, while the older is waiting for money back.
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I have a 9 month old and 6 year old and only have a part time helper that comes to clean our house twice a week for a few hours. I tried having a F/T helper but we just didn't feel comfortable having somebody else in the house with us.
I must admit I do have it easier as my daughter can help me with many things around the house if needed and she is now at school for most if the day.
I do most of my shopping online and have it delivered as PnS or Wellcome are very convenient for this but have to pop to the market or shops for fresh food, however, I think the supermarkets can deliver fresh food if you order online.
I find it hardest doing the school runs during the rainy seasons. Although I drive to the school, I still have to take my daughter into school which will also means the baby has to come as well.
Also taking the children to the doctors is hard as both children are in tow.
When we do go out for an evening meals, we usually make it early like 6pm and usually get home for about 8pm ready for the childrens' bedtime.
I have a friend who has 3 children and hires a local P/T helper that goes to her house everyday from 1pm to about 7pm. In that times she does housework, shopping, babysitting and also the cooking so maybe this can be another option for anyone who needs help.
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I've got a 28 1/2 month old and a 5 1/2 month old, and no helper. I do my household chores around them but when in the kitchen, I constantly look out through the kitchen hatch to keep an eye on the both of them. I have never been anywhere in a taxi with the two of them alone. My first solo trip alone (walking distance) with the two to the pediatrician got me really stressed as my eldest had a tantrum all the way home after I stopped him from leaving with a toy from the clinic. I've recently taken the two to Hong Kong Park which is around the corner from us. The first trip wasn't so successful as my eldest decided to lay down on the ground and kick a fuss when it was time to leave. The second trip went better and I managed to 'lure him' home with biscuits and by telling him that 'Mickey Mouse' was about to start on TV. I'd actually like to take him to the playground in Hong Kong Park but I think it will be more difficult to monitor him as he keeps running from one level to the other and if I run after him, the baby will have to be left unattended. I might give it a try soon and see how it goes....
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trudy
19 yrs ago
Wow, thank you so much for replying. It seems there are quite a few of us without full time helpers. I do have some part time help too for cleaning too as I just don't know how the house would stay clean otherwise.
Maybe we should arrange a get together seeing as though we all have children around the same age.
Bontheka have you tried HK park yet with your two little ones? I've been there a few times with mine but I tend not to go to too many playgrounds for the very reason you mentioned. Just not enough eyes to watch my eldest who has no fear!!
Does anyone know how I can send some private messages? Thanks.
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fel
19 yrs ago
hi trudy n mummies.
yeah, seem like most of us hv kids ard the same age withou full time helper. not easy, but managable.
trudy, u can go to control panel to send your PM. is on the left hand top side.
cheers,
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Hi Trudy
Yes, 3 and 1 is really a difficult time. I have three too and use a PT helper. Sure we should get together to share some experiences.
Fel - can you teach me step by step how to PM? I went to control panel but there is no indication on how to send PM. It says messages but only choice of alphabets which I dont know what it means.
Thank you
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wanchai sale:
you're on the right track. say if you want to PM Fel, then type in "F" and all the user names that start with F will show up. All you need to do is to scroll up and down.
Good Luck!
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fel
19 yrs ago
hi trudy
as mentioned by micchira, when u at control panel, select compose message. the choice of alphabets is for u to select the name of the user u want to PM. so if u want to PM me, then u select 'F', then you can go to the next coloumn, and type Fel then u will c my name appear. once u hv select the user, u can create yr own msg n send to them. hope tis help.
cheers,
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Hi Trudy,
I went to the Hong Kong Park playground today with the two boys. I have pm-ed you my experience.
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Oh thank you everyone for your help on the PM method. Will try it out sometime.
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Hi there! Just read this, as not much time with a busy 12 month old who loves to walk. I live over on DB, where there are some others mums with no helpers (unfortunately, most of my friends do have FT helpers, though).
Would love to meet others.
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trudy
19 yrs ago
Hi Eliot and Susi, I have PM'd you both.
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Hi there
I haven't received a message. Will try myself
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trudy
19 yrs ago
Hi Eliot,
I haven't received anything either. Will try again. I'm useless at p/messages.
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