Westerner looking for love - the right kind

I've tried posting an ad on Asiaxpat's personals twice. First time was in the Friends section, made it clear I wasn't interested in dating, just wanted people to go out with and talk to, got some good responses and met a couple of nice women, and two guys, neither of whom worked out romantically. Plus a lot of guys assuming that "mature Western" equates to "rich lonely sugar momma." Also a lot of guys wanting to improve their English. Also actually met up with one guy who advertised for a mature woman. He turned out to be 23 and when he found out my age (over 50) he went back and revised his ad to state no one over the age of 35!


About a year and half later I tried answering one ad looking for a "mature" woman." When I wrote and asked what he meant by mature he got really snotty and rude and said if I was I would know it. I wrote back and explained what had happened before, and he got really crude and nasty about describing my aging anatomy and maybe I should be going to the vegetable section to find what I need. It was pretty disturbing, but unfortunately reinforced my impression that the majority of the guys on the personals here are only looking for one night stands.


I did try an online matching service for a month, but all the guys there are in the States and even though several had listed in their profiles they were interested in re-locating for the right person, a lot wouldn't even initiate getting to know me when they found out I was in China.


I've given up trying to date for now and trying not to focus on it so much. I'm finding fulfillment in my friends, writing and job. Part of me feels like I'm just settling, but I'm kind of hoping that old axiom about they'll show up when you're not looking will kick in.


Good luck! Let us know if you find anything, I think there's more of us out here than anyone realizes.

I thought I would just share my personal experience... probably no big deal compared to Molly's.


I am turning 30years old this year. Never dated. No friend. I am lonely, and sad that I m without a friend. I yearn to talk to a real living person, and not type out the conversation with a virtual person.


What's wrong with me? I have 2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth and 2 ears. I can walk, run and feed myself. I am absolutely a healthy person with intelligence. Some people commented that I am smart, some said I am attractive.


I know the replies I would get is go examine your personality or go join some sports/ hobbies/ clubs to meet new people. I think apart for the sometimes lack of confidence as well as the lonliness, my personlity is just like the next person. Normal. Yes, it's not perfect. As for new hobbies, I dunno... none yet. I have yet to find anything that I want to commit to (and no, I am absolutely willing to commit to a guy)... I have met other people through some other forums. They are friendly as much as a friend. There were no one who 'clicks'. M i still looking? Should i? I don't know anymore.


Molly, hope it's comforting for you to know, u r not alone :)

My dear friends, all your stories are really touching¬ My suggestion is to make some female friends firstly, no matter they are single or not. You can go out to gym, coffee shop or somewhere else you like together. Then you would be more confident because you wouldn't feel lonely. Then in those public places, you may get attentions from some good guys i think (@it's much better for you to go out than staying at home@ as a male friend said to me) Nice day & good luck!